Daddyhood

Daddy Knows Best

2012-01-22T17:31:00.001-08:00

If you’re like a lot of couples out there, you and your partner have very different parenting styles. But that doesn’t mean what he’s doing is wrong. Men may be from Mars, but when it comes to bringing up babies (and toddlers, preschoolers, and teens), they can be just as effective as women. According to a report from the American Academy of Pediatrics, dads can be a positive influence on their children’s development. And research shows that when kids bond with their dads they feel more secure and curious — and less likely to lose it when they get frustrated. So let your partner discover his own parenting style.

Japanese TV

2011-12-07T13:07:00.000-08:00

I told my oldest boy, "The TV you're watching was made in Japan." He replied withour missing a beat: "Well, it speaks English!"

The Little Con Artist

2011-06-01T16:42:00.000-07:00

My youngest boy, the six-year old paid someone else to do his homework for him. Where did he get that from. They learn really quick these days don't they?

Dads' Postpartum Depression Ups Odds of Spankings

2011-03-14T13:37:00.001-07:00

By Catherine Donaldson-Evans
Growing evidence shows that fathers can suffer from postpartum depression too. A new study finds that dads' post-baby blues can have a negative effect on their parenting and increase the chances that a child will be spanked.

Researchers from the University of Michigan studied more than 1,700 fathers of 1-year-olds and found that 7 percent of them reported a "major depressive episode" in the time since the birth of their babies.

In many cases, the black moods apparently were taken out on the children, making it four times more likely that they had been spanked recently and half as likely that their dads read them stories on a regular basis, according to the paper in the April issue of Pediatrics.

Pediatricians could play a bigger role in suggesting ways to combat fathers' postpartum depression, since about 77 percent of the fathers who were down said they'd talked to their baby's doctors in the past year.

"Pediatric providers should consider screening fathers for depression, discussing specific parenting behaviors [e.g., reading to children and appropriate discipline], and referring for treatment if appropriate," wrote the authors led by Dr. R. Neal Davis.

The new dads' experience with depression resembled that of new moms, as they were most likely to suffer symptoms within the first year of the child's life.

Experts attribute the trend to fathers' increased role in child care. Though that heightened participation has been supported by the American Academy of Pediatrics, what's difficult is getting doctors to recognize postpartum depression in men and help them do something about it.

Pediatricians need to "embrace paternal perinatal depression screening with the same vigor" they do with mothers, which could pose a challenge, wrote Dr. Craig F. Garfield of Northwestern University in Chicago and Richard Fletcher of the University of Newcastle in Australia in an editorial published with the study.

"The field of pediatrics is now faced with finding ways to support fathers in their parenting role much in the same way we support mothers," they said.

The latest research relied on interviews with 1,746 fathers of babies who were a year old. The data had been collected for a large-scale national study on families and children in the U.S. born between 1998 and 2000.

About 7 percent of the men said they'd been very depressed at some point during the previous year.

The sad fathers were more likely to be unemployed and have substance abuse problems, which probably contributed to their state of mind, according to the paper. But they were just as likely as the other fathers to have spoken to their child's pediatrician during the time period in question.

Forty-one percent of depressed dads reported spanking their babies in the prior month, compared to only 13 percent of other fathers, and 41 percent of them said they'd read stories to their children at least three days a week versus 58 percent of the happier dads.

Put another way, the depressed fathers were 62 percent less likely to say they'd read to their children at least three days a week and 3.92 times more likely to have spanked them in the past month.

Both groups of fathers were equally likely to sing songs to their kids and play with them, the findings showed.

The issue of spanking children has been hotly debated, but the researchers found it worrying that these babies were a year old or younger, at "a developmental stage when children are unlikely to understand the connection between their behavior and subsequent punishment and when spanking is more likely to cause physical injury."

Postpartum depression occurs after the birth of a child and is typically accompanied by significant feelings of sadness, emptiness, anger, irritability and listlessness. Insomnia or sleeping too much are also common symptoms.

Did The flintstones Wear Underwear?

2010-08-20T06:41:00.000-07:00

My oldest boy asked me the other day, "Daddy, did the Flintstones wear underwear?" That didn't bother me. what bothered me was, I had to think about it. I had to think long and hard. I ended up saying, "Yes, of course they did." but actually they didn't. Underwear hadn't been invented yet. Unless it was underwear made of stone and by definition that is horribly uncomfortable. But I said yes because I didn't want him going to school the next day, dropping his pants in front of everyone and going, "Look, I'm not wearing any underwear - just like the Flintstones.

I told my two boys I would never lie to them, but in times like these, little white lies are okay, I have learned.

July 4th in Moccasin Gap

2010-07-05T12:54:00.000-07:00

What I love about the 4th of July is living in a small town and going to the high school football stadium every year and watching the fireworks.

For a small town (Moccasin Gap is only 7,000 people), we have a pretty big fireworks display, it last about 30-minutes or more. We get to see people we haven’t seen in a while and, of course, we eat hot dogs and hamburgers and corn on the cob and we go swimming in the lake and we spend time at the grand parent’s house.

It’s always fun and the expressions on my two boy’s faces when the fireworks go off is priceless. It makes me glad I’m off the road and can spend this precious time with them. It also makes me sad that I’m going back on the road.

We had a July 4th parade this morning, Grandpa always puts his car in it and we all get to ride. My two boys love waving at everyone lined up along side the street to cheer as we pass.

I don’t know how it is in the big city, but in small town USA July 4th is a special day. It makes you proud to be an American.

I don’t know if Obama is a proud American or not, nor do I know if he started his day kneeling to the western sky and praying to Allah, but around here, we started our day by putting up the American flag and thanking God for the men and women who haven’t been killed overseas yet and praying for the ones that have.

Be glad you’re an American. This is still the greatest country on Earth and hopefully it will continue to be.

www.worldwidebc.com

The Meaning of 'Man'

2010-01-04T11:25:00.000-08:00

I ran into a guy I go to college with the other day. We've been on break since before Christmas. I'm starting my second year back in school next week. And I'm 60-years old. So I run into this guy, I roll down my window and say, "Hey man. How are you doing?" He goes, "Hey, man, I'm doing alright."
"Did you have a good Christmas, man?"
"Yeah, man, it was cool."
"Hey, man, are you going to be back in school next semester?"
"Oh, yeah, man. I'll be there."
And this went on for about five minutes. When I left, my four-year old who was in the back seat asked, "Daddy, why did you call each other man?"
So I had to explain the meaning of man to my son. It really isn't easy. I couldn't tell him it's just a greeting like, "Hey, dude!" Then he will want to know what dude means. Next thing you know I'll be in over my head. And I hate it when that happens.

The Right To The Remote

2009-07-14T13:07:00.000-07:00

As you know it's a man's right to own control of the remote. Women have makeup, men have the remote. But recently I lost the right to the remote in my house to my oldest son who is currently 7 and I may let him make it to 8.

As soon as he comes in he grabs the remote from me and keeps it by his side. Whatever I'm watching doesn't matter. When he walks in it's Sponge Bob time. We watch Sponge Bob until it's time to go to bed. i am sick of Sponge Bob Squarepants.

It seems like only yesterday he was watching stuff that I liked, the Pink Panther, Top Cat, Huckleberry Hound...how did he end up with Sponge Bob?

If he ever starts watching Barnet, I'm breaking the remote. A man can only go so far with his son.

The First Joke

2009-03-22T14:33:00.000-07:00

My oldest boy who is now seven just learned his first joke. Are you ready? Here it goes..."I going to spend my money on a new butt because my old one has a crack in it."

Truly a proud day for Daddy. I can't wait till he tells it to our preacher which I'm sure he will do. Now if he can just do about 30 more like that he will have an act and I can take him on the road as my opening comic. The Carver Boys Tour. Has a ring to it, doesn't it?

Remember what your childs first joke was? Tell me and I will post it.

My Youngest Boy Is Now Four

2009-02-01T09:56:00.000-08:00

My youngest boy turned four years old on January 24th. They grow up so fast. He still hugs me every night and tells me he loves me and now when my oldest boy hits him he hits back. They love each other, they just have a strange way of showing it.

We gave him a batman cake. He ate all the icing and left the cake. I used to do that too. We're taking my two boys to their first concert next week, the Buddy Holly Tribute Show. That will be a blast.

Rock on boys, just like your daddy. You're never too old to Rock-N-Roll

My Son's First Book

2008-12-04T10:59:00.000-08:00

My oldest boy just wrote his first book; a proud day for daddy. I didn't even know he had it in him.

Maybe he takes after me after all. I've written two books; Daddyhood and Stress Relief 101 and I am proud of both of them.

My son's book is a seven page book about his little puppy called Pepper. He wrote it all by himself. Wow, that kid is creative. Others play football or soccer. My kids writes. I like that.

And I hope he continues to write. Who knows, he may become the next Mark Twain or Edgar Allan Poe or even Stephen King.

But right now, he's just my son and I am a proud daddy.

Bring back old-fashioned play

2008-10-24T14:54:00.000-07:00

Psychologists urged to help parents reverse the commercialization of childhood.
By Christopher Munsey

Years ago, if you gave a kid a lump of Play-Doh, she might roll it around in her hands and shape it into a ball, a lion or some other figment of her imagination.

These days, kids are more likely to look at that lump, scratch their heads and say, "What does it do?" said Diane Levin, PhD, at a session on the effects of electronic media on childhood.

Levin said examples of what she terms "problem-solving deficit disorder" can be seen in children who are so used to staring at a screen while playing electronic games that they don't know how to play creatively. Making things worse are the messages that children get from these overly structured and directed activities, she said.

"What we have is a huge clash of cultures between what parents, families and society want to teach children about what it means to be a person with good values and the messages given by popular culture," said Levin, co-author of "So Sexy, So Soon" (Ballantine Books, 2008).

The intense marketing toward children started in the early 1980s when the government relaxed regulations on the advertising of toys and products to children. Now, toys are even being used to market other toys, with cell phones and electronic games, Levin said.

The convergence of sophisticated technology and unfettered commercialism is a "disaster" for American children, added Susan Linn, EdD, author of "The Case for Make Believe'' (New Press, 2008). Linn, who also spoke at the session, co-founded the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood with Levin and serves as its director. Before deregulation, she said, corporations spent about $100 million a year advertising products to kids. That spending has now mushroomed to $17 billion annually. Such practices, she said, are linked to childhood obesity, eating disorders, youth violence and early sexualization.

Not knowing how to play creatively and playing electronic games in isolation also means that children are losing the traditional lessons of play, which help them make sense of the world and learn how to interact with peers, Linn said.

Psychologists can help parents push back against the trends, Linn says. One example of success came last year, when in response to a letter-writing campaign, Hasbro shelved a plan to market dolls to young girls based on the Pussycat Dolls — a pop group known for their scanty dress.
"They will not be coming to a toy store near you," she said.

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking

2008-08-24T14:55:00.000-07:00

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.'

Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, friend) influences the life of a child. How will you touch the life of someone today? Just by sending this to someone else, you will probably make them at least think about their influence on others.

9 Ways To Make Your Child Smarter

2008-08-08T04:48:00.000-07:00

Make music: Listening to your child play the trombone isn't always a pleasurable experience, but music lessons can be a fun way to engage in right-brain learning. According to a study by University of Toronto researchers, organized music lessons appear to benefit children's IQ and academic performance—and the more years the student takes lessons, the greater the effect. The study found that taking music lessons in childhood was a clear predictor of better grades in high school and a higher IQ in adulthood. So help your children release their inner Mozart, sign them up for the school band or private lessons.

Breast feed: Mother's milk is elemental brain food. Research consistently has shown that breast-feeding has multiple benefits for growing infants. It prevents dangerous infections and provides essential nourishment. Danish researchers have discovered that breast-feeding can make babies both healthier and smarter. The study found that infants who breast-fed for nine months grew up to be significantly more intelligent than those who breast-fed for one month or less. The bottom line: If breast-feeding works for you make an early investment in your child's health. Breast-feeding your infant can deliver long-term dividends.

Foster fitness: Studies by University of Illinois researchers have shown a strong relationship between fitness scores and academic achievement among primary school children. Participation in organized sports fosters confidence, teamwork and leadership, according to research by the Oppenheimer Funds. This study also found that 81 percent of women business executives played team sports as girls. So instead of retiring to the TV after dinner, consider throwing a ball around or going for a walk. Even better: Encourage your child to get involved in an organized physical activity or school sport.

Surprise! Play video games: Video games get a bad rap. Yes, many are violent, solitary and mindless, but stick to the ones that develop children's strategic thinking and planning skills and the ones that promote teamwork or creativity. Educational toy companies like Leapfrog are now creating motor- skill and memory enhancing games for small children—even toddlers. A recent study conducted at the University of Rochester found that participants who played video games recognized and learned visual cues much faster than their non-video-game-playing counterparts. British teachers have begun using some video games in the classroom.

Junk the junk food: Cutting out sugar, trans fats and other junk food from your child's diet and replacing them with high-nutrient alternatives can do wonders for early childhood mental and motor development—especially in the first two years of life. For example, kids need iron for healthy brain tissue development, as nerve impulses move more slowly when children are iron-deficient. And studies show that poorly nourished children have trouble fighting infections, which causes them to miss school and fall behind their peers. Pay attention to what your kids are eating, and the grades may follow.

Nurture curiosity: Experts say parents who show curiosity and encourage their children to explore new ideas teach them a valuable lesson: Seeking knowledge is important. Support your kids’ hobbies and interests by asking them questions, teaching them new skills and taking them on educational outings to develop intellectual curiosity.

Read!: This tried-and-true method sometimes gets overlooked in the rush to adopt the latest IQ-boosting technology, but reading is a sure-fire, low-tech way to improve learning and cognitive developing in children of all ages. Read to your children from an early age, sign your child up for a library card and keep the house stocked with books.

Breakfast breeds champions: A strong body of research dating back to the 1970s shows that eating breakfast improves memory, concentration and learning. And children who don't eat breakfast tend to tire easier, be more irritable and react less quickly than those who begin the day with a solid meal. With today's hectic schedules, a full sit-down breakfast isn't always possible. But even an energy bar and a glass of milk can go a long way towards helping your kids stay focused and engaged during school hours.

Play mind games: Chess, crosswords, cryptograms, riddles—they all train the brain to perform mental gymnastics. Games like Sudoku can be fun while promoting strategic thinking, problem-solving and complex decision-making. Keep brainteasers around the house and challenge your children to help you solve the trickier problems.

"I Hate My Newborn Baby!"

2008-07-31T13:13:00.000-07:00

I found the following ob MSN Online:

"I Hate My Newborn Baby!"
A new dad confesses: They're not always bundles of joy
Add this page to favoritesBy Steve Belanger, Men’s Health

Week 1
The first few days are a blur of exhilaration and exhaustion. I sit holding that little ball of flesh--all 6 pounds of him--and I can't believe how lucky I am.

On the third day, we take Matthew home. My wife and I are looking forward to spending the next 3 months together, raising our boy. After that, she'll go back to work and I'll stay home.
The parenting books say the average newborn sleeps about 19 hours a day. That's how long our boy cries. He never naps, and at night he sleeps for just 20 minutes at a time, and only when he's being held. This makes it tough to follow the first rule of having a newborn: Sleep when the baby sleeps.

Week 2
Clearly something is wrong. We take Matthew to the doctor. "It's just a little intestinal distress," he tells us. "It's fairly common and nothing to worry about."

Meanwhile, my wife, Kelly, and I start sleeping in shifts. She goes to bed at 7 p.m. while I sit in the basement with Matthew for, inevitably, 5 hours of crying. Then at midnight, we switch for 5 hours.

Before, the basement had been my sanctuary. Comfy couches, big-screen TV, every man's dream. Now it's my prison. I lose my temper 50 times a night. Sitting there alone in the dark, exhausted, I'm overwhelmed. "Why are you doing this!" I scream at him. "What do you want me to do?"

Week 3
I hate my newborn baby. There, I said it. Nobody ever says it. But if what Matthew is going through is fairly common, then I'm sure more than a few men have thought it. It's always "Coochie-coochie-coo!" and "Oh, he's a handful, but he's worth it." Yeah, right. Am I missing something here?

I'd waited 42 years to meet this kid. Now I want to return him. Or ask for an exchange. "Do you have any quiet babies that I could take instead? No? Would you mind looking in the back?"
I feel like the worst dad ever.

Week 4
Two more doctor visits and no improvement. We switch to formula, replace Matthew's bed linens, and start using a humidifier in his room. We're desperate for something, anything, to click. Friends say things like, "Just wait. One of these days he'll start sleeping, and your life will change." Every time he dozes for more than 15 minutes we think we've turned a corner. But then he wakes up crying, as if someone has just poured a bucket of ice water on him.

Week 5
The doctor thinks maybe Matthew has a milk allergy, so he wants us to switch to a soy-based formula. We start him on a Saturday.

The next day, my mother-in-law comes over to give us some relief. Kelly and I each go our separate ways. She takes care of some stuff around the house, and I lock myself in front of a day's worth of NFL games. By dinnertime, my mother-in-law is deeply concerned. "He's getting worse," she says.

I call the doctor, who advises us to allow the new formula a few more hours to work through his system. At 10 p.m., Matthew is as miserable as we've ever seen him. We decide to take him to the ER.

Then, as we're getting ready, something crazy happens. He falls asleep in my wife's arms. We don't get our hopes up--we've fallen for this trick before. Fifteen minutes later, we take a chance and lay him down. Still out cold. Then we dare to crawl into our own bed.

That night, he sleeps 6 hours straight. It's the breakthrough we've been hoping for.

Today
As I write this, Matthew is sitting in his bouncy seat looking at me with a smirk on his face. He's 6 months old, and he's already my best friend. Every night he listens to my troubles, cooing his understanding or praising me with an encouraging fart. But for his first few weeks on this planet, we did not get along. Not at all.

Looking back, I feel incredible guilt--not just for having had so much hatred and anger, but for how selfish I'd been. Many new parents are facing real problems. Their kids are sick. They're having trouble affording basic necessities. They're doing it alone. My wife and I were together 24-7 and parenting knocked us on our asses.

To those struggling parents, I say best of luck.

To my wife, who's now back at work, I say thank you for giving me such a wonderful son.
And to my boy, well, I'm sorry about the things I said to you during your first few weeks. I promise to make it up to you for the rest of your life. I love you, buddy.

Hang in there. It will get better. They’re your future. Treat them with respect. Give them love.

Why Get Stressed Out?

2008-07-25T14:23:00.000-07:00

Why do parents get stressed out over their children? Don't you realize that they won't be young forever? They're going to be grown up and they're going to move away and you will look back over the years that your children were home and you will see all the times you wasted by being stressed out over nothing. yelling at your children, sending them to their room, spanking them.

Times you could have spent laughing with your children. Times your could have spent having fun with your children. Times you could have spent being the parent that your children think you are.

Children are precious and they don't have a say in the matter. They don't mean to stress you out. They're just being children. They're doing what they're supposed to do - play and have fun. The problem isn't with the children, it's with your attitude.

You need to change your attitude. See the humor in your children, not the stress. Change the way you look at things and your life and your children's lives will change for the better. Children learn by watching you. If they see a stressed out parent who snaps over nothing, they're going to grow up an be the same way.

I don't know about you, but I don't want my children to grow up being stressed out. I want them to grow up and enjoy life. I want them to enjoy their children. I want them to be just like me. When you think about that, you'll start to see things differently and you will start to make better choices. Remember, be the parent that your children think you are.

BC is a professional speaker, Christian comedian and author. His current book is Daddyhood, a humorous and thought provoking book about life with his two boys. BC became a dad for the first time at 52 and the second time at 55. His life has been wonderful ever since.

The Karate Kid

2008-06-27T06:29:00.000-07:00

My oldest son, Austin is in Karate Camp this summer. He's actually getting pretty good at it. He's learning a lot. For example, just yesterday he learned that if you karate kick a metal chair it will hurt your foot. He has also learned that if he kicks his brother, his brother kicks back. Austin has quite a ways to go before he becomes a black belt, but at least right now he's hanging in there. And next month the two of us are doing a magic show for the kids at Karate Camp. That will be fun.

he looks pretty cool in his karate outfit. In fact he hasn't taken it off in four days. He sleeps in it. It was white. It's the color of dirt now.

Town Meeting

2008-06-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

I went to my first town meeting tonight since the topic of discussion was the school budget. It seems that the commissioners want to cut the budget by about half and they want to raise taxes.

Since about half of my hometown is out of work because one industry (the biggest employer in town) went bankrupt trying to keep up with foreign prices and the other industry, a textile mill moved overseas (thank you government), and gas is now $4.00 a gallon, we don't need a tax increase.

And why are they cutting the school budget. Every one of the commissioners' big thing when they were running for office was, "I'm going to push for better education. I going to fight for better funding for teachers and schools." Now I clearly see that was just a bunch of crap to get them elected. And two of the commissioners I voted for just for that reason.

Our children are our greatest resource and they have no say in this. We can either keep spending more and more and more on law enforcement or spend more on education so our children won't grow up and become criminals.

I've already lost faith in our national government thanks to Bush and Cheney and I've lost faith in our state government here in NC thanks to Jim Black and now I'm losing faith in our local government. Every one of the commissioners tonight sat up there like they could care less what we thought. Their minds are made up. They're in office and they don't care what we think. And I think that none of them will be elected next term.

I have two children in school and I want them to get the best education possible. The U.S. isn't number one in education, Finland is. The U.S. isn't even in the top ten. I think that's reason enough to get the government out of our schools.

Where does it stop. what do we as citizens have to do to claim our government back?

Red Smiley

2008-05-25T00:49:00.000-07:00

the school where my son goes has different color smiley faces to determine their behavior. A Blue smiley means great behavior, a green smiley is good behavior, a yellow smiley is okay and a red one is bad behavior. Fortunately, my son gets mostly blue and green smileys but every once in a while he gets a red one. Like last week. He got a red smiley for jumping in mud puddles. It had rained heavily the night before and there were puddles of water all over the play ground, and Austin had to jump in every one of them. That's what little boys do, it's their right to jump in mud puddles. It's part of growing up. He told the teacher that mud puddles were from where the rain peed. Rain peeing, I've never heard that one before. If my son is that creative, they ought to give him a blue light and let it be.

Children's Day

2008-05-03T16:44:00.000-07:00

Today was Children's Day at the park and the March of Dimes Walk-A-Thon in town. So my two boys and I and my wife walked. Then we went to the park and watched the children play. They had all kinds of blow-up stuff for the kids to play on. They seem to be popular here lately. I saw at least three blow up rides at the park and a couple more in town.

And, of course, my boys had to go on all of them. Then I got them ice cream. Why do I get my children ice cream. Can't they make an ice cream that doesn't get all over the children? I'd pay more for that kind of ice cream.

I'm in better shape now thanks to my two boys. They keep me on the go. If I didn't have them I would have stayed in bed all day and done nothing. Thank you God for my two children.

BC is a professional speaker and humorist. He does stress management seminars and speaks to parenting groups on Being A Daddy. His website is http://www.worldwidebc.com/

Children And Stress

2008-02-17T20:27:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately children are a stress factor in most relationships. No matter what age they are, they cause stress but they don't mean to. They're just being children.

If you're looking at them as a stress factor, then you're looking at them wrong. You need to look at them as a stress reliever, not a stress factor. Learn to look at your children as a humorologist. Then you will see the humor that's all around your children and the humor in having children you can enjoy them more.

Don't destroy those precious moments with you children by being stressed out because once that moment is gone, it's gone forever. You can't get it back.

Your children are precious. If you can't handle it, then don't have them. Someone should have told Brittany Spears that. She definately can't handle being a praent. She can't even handle herself, muchless her children.

I have two boys ages six and three. They're into everything and they make a mess you wouldn't believe and I wouldn't have it any other way. They're my children and I can handle it. How about you.

BC is a professionsal speak and humorist. He does stress management seminars and speaks to parenting groups on Being A Daddy. His website is http://www.worldwidebc.com/

What's The Matter With Parents?

2008-02-13T21:17:00.000-08:00

Did you read where a man threw his children off a bridge over a fight with his wife? What the hell is the matter with parents these days? I don't know what the fight was over, but I'm sure it wasn't great enough to throw his children off a bridge and kill them.

I've had some knock down drag out fights with my wife, but they were never enough to throw my two boys off a bridge. I could throw her off the bridge before I throw my two children.

I wonder what was going through this man's mind when he did it? I know if I was there there'd be a bullet going through his mind because no one who would do something this stupid deserves to live.

My children have made me so mad I could bite a hole in steel, but I would never do something like this. If you can't handle children, then here's an idea: don't have children.

He will see those children again someday on another plane and I hope they make him pay for what he did. I realize that God is forgiving, but something like this is just unforgivable.

Love your children. Tell them you love them everyday. I do and the love they give back is so satisfying.

Happy Birthday

2008-01-24T23:04:00.000-08:00

My youngest son turned three today. We had a party at the pre-school and cake was everywhere except in the childrens mouths. How do they make such a mess? We gave him a scooter just like his big brother's.

They grow up so fast, don't they? I'm going to hold him as much as I can now because before I know it he will be too old to hold and I will miss it.

I will also mis hearing him say, "I love you daddy." It's really going to hurt when he stops saying that. But right now, Happy birthday son. Your daddy loves you very much.

The Mini Vacation

2008-01-24T20:06:00.000-08:00

So the family took a mini vacatiion to Myrtle Beach over the weekend. Vacations are a time to relax and get over the stress in your life, right? Wrong. The resort we were going to was advertised at the end of 52nd street. Only thing is, there are like three 52nd streets in Myrtle Beach. Whoever came up with this idea should be fired immediately.

We went around in circles for about two hours looking for the resort. When we found it there were cars all the way around the block waiting to check in. The place was full to capacity. We got our key and then we couldn't find the room because they sent us to the wrong building. When we did finally find the room, the key wouldn't work.

I teach stress management so at this point I'm trying to practice what I preach. It's not working. This is just one of those days where nothing is going to go right.

The resort had an indoor pool and water slide and hot jaccuzzis and all kinds of things for the kids to play on. the only problem is, there were too many kids there. So no one had any fun. Every pool was full, the water slide was full every jaccuzzi was full, ever chair was taken, we couldn't enjoy it.

I was so glad to get back home and relax in front of the TV and watch football. There's no place like home. I don't think I'm going back to Myrtle Beach ever again. It's getting way too big to enjoy anymore.

Maybe I'll go to Atlantic Beach, NC or Carolina Beach. They're still small enough to enjoy and not stress you out.

Oh, thank God for Valium.

My Kids Didn't Get Enough For Christmas

2008-01-07T11:19:00.000-08:00

My two boys didn't get nearly enough for Christmas apparently because over the weekend we went to a children's expo in Raleigh and bought them even more stuff.

It was like a giant flea market for kids. Toys everywhere. My oldest boy saw a toy guitar he wanted, so I told him, "Let's walk around awhile and then we will get it when we leave." But when it was time to go, the guitar wasn't there. Someone else had gotten it which reminds me of a saying, "If you see it and can afford it, buy it. It won't be there when you go back."

we got my youngest son a bicycle. We got skates for both of them, and clothes. All together we spent $80. Not bad when you consider that brand new the bicycle alone would have cost $80.

I don't mind buying used stuff. If it looks good and it works, get it.

On the way home we stopped by Goodwill. I found a guitar there and it was better than the one at the expo. My son thought so too.

You find some great deals at Goodwill, the Salvation Army and the Thrift Store and you're helping a great cause when you buy there.

Christmas With The Kids

2007-12-31T19:52:00.000-08:00

If you don't have children then you don't have any idea just how exciting Christmas Day can be. The look on their faces when they saw the presents under the tree was utopia.

I put one of the gifts outside on the porch and told my oldest boy that Santa's bag must have ripped open and a present fell out. He believed it. That's all that matters. I got a feeling this is going to become a Christmas tradition around the BC house every year.

I did it last year and this year he comes up to me and says, "We have to look on the porch this year to see if Santa's bag bust open."

They got way too much stuff. Grandma gave them each a toy cell phone. I told Austin when he's old enough to get a job he can get his own cell phone and he can pay fot it. I figure that's fair.

I didn't understand what Christmas was all about until I had children. Now it's all so simple.

And, by the way, our favorite holiday movie to watch together is "Polar Express." A great movie for the entire family. We've watched it about 10 times already.

Internet Business

2007-12-11T21:03:00.001-08:00

I'm looking for an internet business that I can do at home. Any ideas? I've had several pieces of mail sent to me advertising internet businesses, but nothing really jumped out and grabbed me. With the way American business is going these days, it's good to have a business on the side and that's what I'm looking for. Something to make money while I sit on my butt in front of the computer.

Please send your ideas and comments to bc@worldwidebc.com and thank you very much in advance.

Shopping for Christmas

2007-12-10T04:49:00.000-08:00

I did Christmas chopping for my two boys today. I bought them computers. The ad read for ages 3 and up and my youngest is almost three and my oldest is six. And already they have computers. When I was six I got a Davy Crockett coon skin cap and jacket.

Isn’t it amazing how times change? The cap and jacket was made in America, too. You won’t see that today. No, today the cap and jacket is made in a third world country by an underage child.

The computers I got my two boys were made in China because I couldn’t find a computer that is made in America. That’s pathetic, isn’t it? TV’s aren’t made in America anymore, Computers; all appliances are made overseas now. It just isn’t right. What the hell is our government thinking? Do they care at all about the people who voted for them? Apparently not.

I really hate to see what this country will be like when my children grow up. I know what the language will be, Spanish and Chinese.

A Christmas Carol

2007-12-02T20:10:00.000-08:00

I just finished the play 'A Christmas Carol' for the Little Theater. We did three performances and all went well. Great Crowds. I played Bob Cratchett, Scrooges bookkeeper. It was the first time I'd ever done anything like that, but I'm always up for a challenge.

I didn't think I could do it, but you never know what you can do until you step outside your comfort zone and give it a try. I never thought I could ever be a stand up comic, but not only did I accomplish it, I became one of the top 100 club comic in the late 80's and early 90's.

Challenge yourself to do things you never thought you could do. You may be surprised at the outcome. I never thought I could be a dad, but I did and I even wrote a book about it called 'Daddyhood'.

My son came to see me perform on Saturday night. I know he was in the audience because when I walked on stage I heard him say, "That's my daddy." I love the sound of that.

Kids And Music

2007-11-22T23:31:00.000-08:00

I wrote thye book Daddyhood which is about life with my two boys. There's a chapter in it titled Teen Culture that lists the problems with children today. And one of the problems is the music they listen to. It's all about violence and rape and drugs. Rap music and hip-hop degrade women. All they sing about is how much money they made and the drugs they do and the way they treat women.

I live near Durham, NC the home of Piedmont Blues. That's right, we have our own kind of blues music in NC. Piedmont blues is where beach music came from (East coast beach music, not west coast). And that's what my son listens to. I'm raising him on good music. I'm not letting him listen to rap, hip-hop or watch MTV. He sleeps to jazz and he likes blues.

What are your children listening to. Do you have any idea? You need to keep up with what they're listening to and what their friends are listening to also. It's the only way we're going to raise our children right. We can't count on our government to do anything. They're only looking out for themselves. So let's loo out for ourselves and our children.

Stop It Now

2007-11-22T22:50:00.000-08:00

This is from a blog titled Broken Bread and deserves attention.

Stop It Now
To the Virginia Dept of Health:When my daughter was born prematurely, I would place my thumb into her hand for her to squeeze as she lay in her isolette. When she recovered and came home from the hospital, I would hold and kiss her hand often. After she learned to walk, we could frequently be seen walking hand-in-hand down our street.My daughter will turn eleven this summer. I see her two nights every week, every other weekend, and for two weeks in the summer. I have told her she doesn't have to hold my hand when we walk down the street, but she insists. At times I've wondered how it looks to other people to seea 10-year-old girl holding her father's hand, but this doesn't occupy my mind for very long. I'm more concerned about what feels right for her than about what other people think.I find the latest advertisement from the Virginia Department of Health deeply offensive and hurtful. It is offensive to any man who has a nurturing relationship with a child, because it implies that any father who shows physical affection to his child should be labeled a potential sexual predator. It is hurtful because it twists an innocent gesture of affection between a father and child into something that would make most fathers turn pale. Fathers are not by definition pedophiles, but your ad asks viewers to think of all physical affection shown by fathers as an indication of sexual abuse.Some find your ad ridiculous. I do not consider it funny or ridiculous. I am extremely uncomfortable with the climate of fear that sex abuse and domestic violence advocates are creating. You are creating a McCarthyist environment that may one day drive a permanent wedge between fathers and their children, and which will ultimately be damaging to men's relationships with ALL children. Sex abuse is a problem, but to imply that sex abuse by fathers is of epidemic proportions is both inaccurate and unhelpful.Please stop smearing fathers. Stop It Now.Jeffrey Zeth

Happy (After) Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T21:24:00.000-08:00

It's finally over. Now all the parents in America can go to the mall and fight over great deals. I've been there. I've seen it. Normal, everyday, decent people fighting and cussing each other to get the last hot toy for their child.

Fighting over the hottest toy that will end up in the toy box never to be played with again in just two days. I don't know what the hot toy is this year. I remember when it was Elmo. Everyone had to have an Elmo for their child. Where is that Elmo now. Any idea. How about the Beenie Babies? The Cabbage Patch Kids?

Whatever it is this year, you can bet on one thing, it was made in China and it's not healthy for your child. But why do parents buy it. To save a couple of dollars. Is the health of your child worth it?

Mine isn't. That's why I'm buying toys made in America. They're safe, they're cool and they're fun to play with. Sure, they cost a little more. So I just won't buy my boys as much this year. But the things I do buy them will be safe and they won't be made in China.

I urge you to do the same. Aren't your kids worth it?

Toys NOT made in China

2007-11-21T21:35:00.000-08:00

You want toys that are not made in China. Go to these sites and shop till you drop. And have a safe and merry Christmas.
http://www.nmctoys.com/
http://www.madeinusa.org/nav.cgi?data/toys&
http://www.step2.com/
http://www.stillmadeinusa.com/toysngames.html
http://www.turnertoys.com/
http://www.howtobuyamerican.com/bamw/bamw-051112-toys.shtml
http://www.backtobasicstoys.com/search/txtsearch/@NorthAmericaEurope/txt/Items%20made%20in%20North%20America%20and%20Europe/?source=PDGOG07
http://www.highlights.com/jump.jsp?itemID=0&itemType=HOME_PAGE&hm=cat&ccid=KNC-1000-1001238&sccat=E0912&source=google_priority
http://www.fatbraintoys.com/specials/made_in_america.cfm?source=google&kwid=made+in+america&gclid=CIqG7rDf748CFSBMGgod_U3slQ

Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-21T20:54:00.001-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I don't know about you, but I am not going to shop anywhere that has Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. And if anyone says "Happy Holidays" to me I will reply with, "And Merry Christmas to you too."

Lowes Home Improvement centers has Holiday Trees for sale. Not 'Christmas' Trees, but 'Holiday' trees. I guess they don't want to offend the athiests. All athiests shop at Lowes, you know. And Walmart is doing the same thing.

Since everything in Walmart is from China, I'll be surprised if anyone shops there anymore. I certainly won't. I love my kids and I don't want them to have stuff from China. It's not safe.

Buy American. You can trust it.

The Book

2007-11-21T20:31:00.000-08:00

My book is almost ready for publication. A few tweaks and it'll be published. It's called 'Daddyhood' and it a humorous look at life with my two little boys. It covers everything that all parents go through everyday like changing diapers, getting them to bed, missing pacifiers, giving them baths, I just find the humor in it.

Hopefully the book will make you laugh, make you cry and make you think. If you want a copy for a reduced price just for reading this blog, send your e-mail to bc@worldwidebc.com and I will make sure you get one.

Isn't that nice of me?

Raging Mad

2007-11-19T21:37:00.000-08:00

This morning my "better half" was rushing for work and screaming at the kids to get ready for school, my oldest son is in kindergarten and my youngest in pre-school, and the she strated yelling at me and getting me all stressed out. And getting me stressed out isn't easy because it's my job to teach stress management to other people.

Carson, the youngest was ready, but Austin, Mr. Laid Back was still in his room, sitting on the bed, looking at his trophy that he got from playing soccer, in no rush at all. That's what I love about children. They're never in a rush when they need to be. They're just laid back and easy. And that translates into a screaming, bitchy Mom and a stressed out Dad.

I yelled at him and he started crying. When he got home from school, I apologized to him for screaming and he sat beside me and hugged me. I love that. That's what I love about being a Daddy.

Two Are Better Than One

2007-11-19T14:46:00.000-08:00

When Austin was two my wife decided that he needed someone to play with. I suggested we get him a dog. It's cheaper, doesn't make as big a mess and we can name him Brother.

She wanted another child. I didn't think I could give that much love to another child, but when he was born I realized that it was so easy. Now I have two boys and my life is filled with love from both sides.

Bill Cosby said that you can't be considered a parent until you have two children. This is very true. One child is too easy to raise. You need at least two. Then, when something goes wrong, you have no idea who did it. Plus I can't walk in my living room because their stuff is scattered everywhere.

Walking through my living room barefooted is like walking through a mine field. I will never do it again.

A Changed Man

2007-11-19T05:14:00.000-08:00

Before my first son was born I did drugs, smoked pot and drinked myself into oblivion. It came with the territory. i was a professional comedian and worked in bars every night. It was there and i did it. When my son came along I realized that if I was to raise him right, I had to get right first. So I gave up my career and the drugs and pot and alcohol and I became a changed man.

I thought I had gotten rid of all my pot stuff like the bongs and roach clips and pin s and t-shirts and stuff, but my son, who is now six, found a pin that I still had with the words, "A friend with weed is a friend indeed" on it. So he put it on his shirt and wore it to school like a sheriff's badge. And he got sent to the principal’s office. She called me and said if I wanted the pin I could come to school and get it.

I declined, of course. I just told her that she could have it or throw it away. Now I’m searching the house for every little thing I can find that relates to pot. After all, I’m on the PTA board. I don’t need this kind of crap in my life.