Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Older Dads Linked To Grandkid Health, Study Says
By MALCOLM RITTER
NEW YORK -- Finally, some good news for older dads. A new study hints that their children and even their grandchildren may get a health benefit because of their older age.
It's based on research into something called telomeres – tips on the ends of chromosomes.
Some previous studies have associated having longer telomeres (TEE-loh-meers) with better health and longer lives. Telomeres haven't been proven to cause those benefits in the general population, but a number of researchers think they may hold secrets for things like longevity and cancer.
As you age, telomeres shorten. However, previous studies have shown that the older a man is when he becomes a father, the longer the telomeres his children tend to have. The new research confirms that and finds it's extended to the grandchildren.
That's a cheerier result for older dads than some other studies in recent years that indicate their kids are at heightened risk for things like autism, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.
The new work didn't look at health outcomes. That's a future step, said researcher Dan T.A. Eisenberg of Northwestern University. He presents the results with colleagues in Monday's issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
Carol Greider of Johns Hopkins University, who shared a Nobel Prize in 2009 for telomere research but who didn't participate in the new study, said it's no surprise that the telomere effect would extend beyond children to grandchildren.
She cautioned that since older fathers also tend to pass more potentially harmful genetic mutations, it's "not at all clear" whether advanced paternal age gives an overall health benefit to children. In a statement, the Northwestern researchers said their study shouldn't be taken as a recommendation that men reproduce at older ages, because there's a risk of mutations.
The researchers' work involved an analysis of telomeres in blood samples from a large, multigenerational study in the Philippines.
One analysis of about 2,000 people confirmed the idea that the older your dad was when you were born, the longer your telomeres tend to be. That held true throughout the age range of the fathers, who were 15 to 43 at the time their sons or daughters were born.
Researchers then extended that another generation: The older your father's father was when your father was born, the longer your telomeres tend to be. That analysis included 234 grandchildren. A separate analysis found no significant effect from the mother's father.
The telomere contribution from a grandfather adds to the one from the father, researchers found.
Some previous studies of the impact of older fatherhood have been less encouraging. In 2010, for example, at least two big studies confirmed a link to having children with autism, with one finding that a father's age makes the biggest difference when the mother is young. In 2008, a big Swedish study strengthened evidence linking bipolar disorder to older paternal ages, although researchers said the risk was still so low that it shouldn't discourage older men from having children.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
THREE ESSENTIAL PARENTING PRINCIPLES
By Craig H. Hart
Parenting with love, limits, and latitude can have far-reaching effects on children.
YOU hear the all-too familiar squealing and aren't surprised when you find your 2-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son in a tug-of-war match over a coveted toy. It has already happened several times today, and you're beginning to feel frustrated. How do you respond?
How parents handle such situations affects more than just the level of chaos in their home. Research has shown that parenting style can also affect children's social development.
Over the past 20 years, I have collaborated in studies of parents in several parts of the United States and in Australia, China, and Russia, where we have found surprising similarity in parenting styles and their effects on children's social skills. Around the world most parental behavior can be classified into one of three general parenting styles—coercive, permissive, and authoritative.
Our research suggests that authoritative styles are most effective in the long-term development of positive social behavior in children, and it supports what modern prophets have said. Authoritative parenting involves consistently connecting with children in a loving way, setting reasonable limits, and allowing children an appropriate measure of autonomy. Coercion and permissiveness are less-effective and often detrimental parenting patterns. Coercion involves the use of physical or psychological control to achieve desired behaviors in children. Permissive parenting overindulges children and allows them relatively free reign.
It is important to note that, even in the same family, no two children are alike or respond exactly the same to parenting. Brigham Young wisely encouraged parents to "study their [children's] dispositions and their temperaments, and deal with them accordingly" (Discourses of Brigham Young, ed. John A. Widtsoe [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1998], p. 207). For most children, adapting a carefully tailored balance of three authoritative parenting principles—what I call love, limits, and latitude—can teach them correct behavior and help them develop social skills.
Love
Expressing love to children, or connecting, is the foundation of authoritative parenting. Parents lovingly connect with their children by spending playful time with them, showing affection, praising what they do well, reading to them, and assuring them of the relationship during moments of correction.
Even when circumstances cause parents to exercise their regulatory role, they should do it in a loving way. Coercion—physical or psychological—is rarely appropriate. Coercive behavior includes abuse and excessive spanking, threats of physical aggression, shouting, manipulating, withdrawing love, shaming, guilt trips, invalidating another's feelings, and being patronizing. While coercion often leads to immediate conformance by the child, research indicates it rarely results in a long-term solution and often leads to the child's being more defiant, depressed, aggressive or withdrawn, and manipulative in the home and with peers.
Modern-day prophets going back to Brigham Young have spoken out against coercive parenting and in favor of a more loving, connecting approach. President Young said, "Kind words and loving actions towards children, will subdue [children's] uneducated nature a great deal better than . . . physical punishment" (Deseret News Weekly, Dec. 7, 1864, p. 2). President Joseph F. Smith added that parents should "use no lash and no violence" and maintained that "the man that will be angry at his boy, and try to correct him while he is in his anger, is in the greatest fault. . . . You can only correct your children . . . in kindness by love unfeigned, by persuasion, and reason" (Gospel Doctrine, 13th ed. [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1963], pp. 316–17). And President Gordon B. Hinckley called on parents to be "companionable" with their children ("Some Thoughts on Temples, Retention of Converts, and Missionary Service," Ensign [Nov. 1997], p. 49).
Parents can create loving connections with their children by interacting with gentleness, kindness, long-suffering, and charity (see D&C 121:41; 45). When reproof is necessary, parents should follow it up with "an increase of love . . . lest [the child] should esteem [them] to be his enemy" (D&C 121:43).
Secular research supports this approach. Children of parents who focus on loving relationships and are less coercive tend to be better at regulating their emotions and finding peaceful resolutions to problems. They are more skilled at reading social cues and developing trusting and accepting friendships with peers.
Limits
While love is the foundation of authoritative parenting, children also need appropriate limits. What is appropriate in limit setting depends on a given child's disposition and maturity. In that way, parenting is like riding a horse. For some children parents may need to hold the reigns tighter. Other children may require less parental steering. And with some children, holding the reigns too tightly may only lead to defiance. Knowing when to let up on the reigns and when to tighten your grip takes a lot of creativity and inspiration.
Many limits can be implicit. For instance, children who grow up with parents who attend church each Sunday, always wear their seatbelts, and never curse may not need explicit rules about such matters. President David O. McKay counseled parents, "Children are more influenced by the sermons you act than by the sermons you preach" (in Conference Report, April 1955, p. 26). When parents do create explicit limits, it is important to distinguish mountains from molehills and not make the number of rules overwhelming.
It is important that, when possible, parents provide reasons for rules in advance ("People are reading in the library. We can stay as long as we are quiet.") rather than react arbitrarily to a child's misbehavior. Rules should also have logical consequences. For example, if there is a family rule against rollerblading in the house, an appropriate consequence for breaking the rule might be that the child cannot rollerblade for a specified amount of time. Suspending driving privileges for traffic violations or calmly showing up at an adolescent's teen party when curfew is violated are other examples.
Parents become permissive when they don't enforce boundaries. Calmly and consistently following through and explaining why punishments are administered are vital for helping children learn to regulate their behavior.
Logical rewards can be appropriate consequences for keeping family rules. Complimenting children ("The lawn looks great."), providing earned rewards ("If you finish your homework early, you can play your computer game until bedtime."), and offering surprise rewards ("Thanks for eating your dinner each night this week. Let's go out for ice cream.") allow children to experience the fruits of good behavior, hard work, and obedience.
Research suggests that children whose parents establish appropriate limits on their behavior and follow through are less likely to abuse drugs and be aggressive and delinquent and are more likely to adjust well to school. They are better at thinking through the consequences of actions and are more willing to abide by laws. They also tend to be more capable of moral reasoning and are more self-controlled.
Latitude
Speaking of the Saints, Joseph Smith said, "I teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves" (qtd. by John Taylor, in Millennial Star, Nov. 15, 1851, p. 339). Similarly, parents need to remember that their children will not be under their direct guidance forever. Children eventually leave home and need to "govern themselves." One way parents can prepare their children for this time is by giving them a measure of latitude, or autonomy, appropriate to their maturity.
From the time children are toddlers, parents can let them make reasonable decisions within established boundaries. Young children can help choose what to wear. Older children can have a say in how they accomplish their chores. Teens can be allowed to make media choices so long as they fall within family guidelines. Giving children some say in decision making puts them in the "driver's seat" and prepares them to make farther-reaching decisions later.
Giving children latitude means negotiating and compromising on rules when appropriate. Some rules can be adjusted under certain conditions. Suppose a family rule is that children can play only after chores are done. What if the cousins stop by for a short visit? If the parents won't budge, they may create a lot of resentment in their children. Instead, the parents and children might decide to consider that day exceptional and work out an alternate plan. Being willing to negotiate with children and compromise when flexibility is possible gives them more control over their lives and prepares them for real-world negotiation and compromise.
Research backs up the need to allow children latitude. Children who experience an appropriate amount of autonomy tend to be better at sharing power and understanding others' viewpoints. They have fewer disputes with their parents and are more respectful of adults in general. They better manage their activities. And in peer relationships they place more emphasis on persuasion and negotiation to get their way.
Parenting by Righteous Principles
I often joke that I was a much better parent before I had kids. Authoritative parenting takes time, patience, creativity, faith, and inspiration. And no parent handles every situation perfectly. When we fall short as parents, we need to apologize and try to do better.
There are no recipes for producing happy, well-adapted children, but there are principles we can follow. Using love, limits, and latitude, parents can avoid "unrighteous dominion," leading their children "by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned" (D&C 121:39; 41).
________________________________________
Craig H. Hart is chair of the Marriage, Family, and Human Development Program in the School of Family Life.
Parenting with love, limits, and latitude can have far-reaching effects on children.
YOU hear the all-too familiar squealing and aren't surprised when you find your 2-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son in a tug-of-war match over a coveted toy. It has already happened several times today, and you're beginning to feel frustrated. How do you respond?
How parents handle such situations affects more than just the level of chaos in their home. Research has shown that parenting style can also affect children's social development.
Over the past 20 years, I have collaborated in studies of parents in several parts of the United States and in Australia, China, and Russia, where we have found surprising similarity in parenting styles and their effects on children's social skills. Around the world most parental behavior can be classified into one of three general parenting styles—coercive, permissive, and authoritative.
Our research suggests that authoritative styles are most effective in the long-term development of positive social behavior in children, and it supports what modern prophets have said. Authoritative parenting involves consistently connecting with children in a loving way, setting reasonable limits, and allowing children an appropriate measure of autonomy. Coercion and permissiveness are less-effective and often detrimental parenting patterns. Coercion involves the use of physical or psychological control to achieve desired behaviors in children. Permissive parenting overindulges children and allows them relatively free reign.
It is important to note that, even in the same family, no two children are alike or respond exactly the same to parenting. Brigham Young wisely encouraged parents to "study their [children's] dispositions and their temperaments, and deal with them accordingly" (Discourses of Brigham Young, ed. John A. Widtsoe [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1998], p. 207). For most children, adapting a carefully tailored balance of three authoritative parenting principles—what I call love, limits, and latitude—can teach them correct behavior and help them develop social skills.
Love
Expressing love to children, or connecting, is the foundation of authoritative parenting. Parents lovingly connect with their children by spending playful time with them, showing affection, praising what they do well, reading to them, and assuring them of the relationship during moments of correction.
Even when circumstances cause parents to exercise their regulatory role, they should do it in a loving way. Coercion—physical or psychological—is rarely appropriate. Coercive behavior includes abuse and excessive spanking, threats of physical aggression, shouting, manipulating, withdrawing love, shaming, guilt trips, invalidating another's feelings, and being patronizing. While coercion often leads to immediate conformance by the child, research indicates it rarely results in a long-term solution and often leads to the child's being more defiant, depressed, aggressive or withdrawn, and manipulative in the home and with peers.
Modern-day prophets going back to Brigham Young have spoken out against coercive parenting and in favor of a more loving, connecting approach. President Young said, "Kind words and loving actions towards children, will subdue [children's] uneducated nature a great deal better than . . . physical punishment" (Deseret News Weekly, Dec. 7, 1864, p. 2). President Joseph F. Smith added that parents should "use no lash and no violence" and maintained that "the man that will be angry at his boy, and try to correct him while he is in his anger, is in the greatest fault. . . . You can only correct your children . . . in kindness by love unfeigned, by persuasion, and reason" (Gospel Doctrine, 13th ed. [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1963], pp. 316–17). And President Gordon B. Hinckley called on parents to be "companionable" with their children ("Some Thoughts on Temples, Retention of Converts, and Missionary Service," Ensign [Nov. 1997], p. 49).
Parents can create loving connections with their children by interacting with gentleness, kindness, long-suffering, and charity (see D&C 121:41; 45). When reproof is necessary, parents should follow it up with "an increase of love . . . lest [the child] should esteem [them] to be his enemy" (D&C 121:43).
Secular research supports this approach. Children of parents who focus on loving relationships and are less coercive tend to be better at regulating their emotions and finding peaceful resolutions to problems. They are more skilled at reading social cues and developing trusting and accepting friendships with peers.
Limits
While love is the foundation of authoritative parenting, children also need appropriate limits. What is appropriate in limit setting depends on a given child's disposition and maturity. In that way, parenting is like riding a horse. For some children parents may need to hold the reigns tighter. Other children may require less parental steering. And with some children, holding the reigns too tightly may only lead to defiance. Knowing when to let up on the reigns and when to tighten your grip takes a lot of creativity and inspiration.
Many limits can be implicit. For instance, children who grow up with parents who attend church each Sunday, always wear their seatbelts, and never curse may not need explicit rules about such matters. President David O. McKay counseled parents, "Children are more influenced by the sermons you act than by the sermons you preach" (in Conference Report, April 1955, p. 26). When parents do create explicit limits, it is important to distinguish mountains from molehills and not make the number of rules overwhelming.
It is important that, when possible, parents provide reasons for rules in advance ("People are reading in the library. We can stay as long as we are quiet.") rather than react arbitrarily to a child's misbehavior. Rules should also have logical consequences. For example, if there is a family rule against rollerblading in the house, an appropriate consequence for breaking the rule might be that the child cannot rollerblade for a specified amount of time. Suspending driving privileges for traffic violations or calmly showing up at an adolescent's teen party when curfew is violated are other examples.
Parents become permissive when they don't enforce boundaries. Calmly and consistently following through and explaining why punishments are administered are vital for helping children learn to regulate their behavior.
Logical rewards can be appropriate consequences for keeping family rules. Complimenting children ("The lawn looks great."), providing earned rewards ("If you finish your homework early, you can play your computer game until bedtime."), and offering surprise rewards ("Thanks for eating your dinner each night this week. Let's go out for ice cream.") allow children to experience the fruits of good behavior, hard work, and obedience.
Research suggests that children whose parents establish appropriate limits on their behavior and follow through are less likely to abuse drugs and be aggressive and delinquent and are more likely to adjust well to school. They are better at thinking through the consequences of actions and are more willing to abide by laws. They also tend to be more capable of moral reasoning and are more self-controlled.
Latitude
Speaking of the Saints, Joseph Smith said, "I teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves" (qtd. by John Taylor, in Millennial Star, Nov. 15, 1851, p. 339). Similarly, parents need to remember that their children will not be under their direct guidance forever. Children eventually leave home and need to "govern themselves." One way parents can prepare their children for this time is by giving them a measure of latitude, or autonomy, appropriate to their maturity.
From the time children are toddlers, parents can let them make reasonable decisions within established boundaries. Young children can help choose what to wear. Older children can have a say in how they accomplish their chores. Teens can be allowed to make media choices so long as they fall within family guidelines. Giving children some say in decision making puts them in the "driver's seat" and prepares them to make farther-reaching decisions later.
Giving children latitude means negotiating and compromising on rules when appropriate. Some rules can be adjusted under certain conditions. Suppose a family rule is that children can play only after chores are done. What if the cousins stop by for a short visit? If the parents won't budge, they may create a lot of resentment in their children. Instead, the parents and children might decide to consider that day exceptional and work out an alternate plan. Being willing to negotiate with children and compromise when flexibility is possible gives them more control over their lives and prepares them for real-world negotiation and compromise.
Research backs up the need to allow children latitude. Children who experience an appropriate amount of autonomy tend to be better at sharing power and understanding others' viewpoints. They have fewer disputes with their parents and are more respectful of adults in general. They better manage their activities. And in peer relationships they place more emphasis on persuasion and negotiation to get their way.
Parenting by Righteous Principles
I often joke that I was a much better parent before I had kids. Authoritative parenting takes time, patience, creativity, faith, and inspiration. And no parent handles every situation perfectly. When we fall short as parents, we need to apologize and try to do better.
There are no recipes for producing happy, well-adapted children, but there are principles we can follow. Using love, limits, and latitude, parents can avoid "unrighteous dominion," leading their children "by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned" (D&C 121:39; 41).
________________________________________
Craig H. Hart is chair of the Marriage, Family, and Human Development Program in the School of Family Life.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Daddy Knows Best
If you’re like a lot of couples out there, you and your partner have very different parenting styles. But that doesn’t mean what he’s doing is wrong. Men may be from Mars, but when it comes to bringing up babies (and toddlers, preschoolers, and teens), they can be just as effective as women. According to a report from the American Academy of Pediatrics, dads can be a positive influence on their children’s development. And research shows that when kids bond with their dads they feel more secure and curious — and less likely to lose it when they get frustrated. So let your partner discover his own parenting style.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Japanese TV
I told my oldest boy, "The TV you're watching was made in Japan." He replied withour missing a beat: "Well, it speaks English!"
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
The Little Con Artist
My youngest boy, the six-year old paid someone else to do his homework for him. Where did he get that from. They learn really quick these days don't they?
Monday, March 14, 2011
Dads' Postpartum Depression Ups Odds of Spankings
By Catherine Donaldson-Evans
Growing evidence shows that fathers can suffer from postpartum depression too. A new study finds that dads' post-baby blues can have a negative effect on their parenting and increase the chances that a child will be spanked.
Researchers from the University of Michigan studied more than 1,700 fathers of 1-year-olds and found that 7 percent of them reported a "major depressive episode" in the time since the birth of their babies.
In many cases, the black moods apparently were taken out on the children, making it four times more likely that they had been spanked recently and half as likely that their dads read them stories on a regular basis, according to the paper in the April issue of Pediatrics.
Pediatricians could play a bigger role in suggesting ways to combat fathers' postpartum depression, since about 77 percent of the fathers who were down said they'd talked to their baby's doctors in the past year.
"Pediatric providers should consider screening fathers for depression, discussing specific parenting behaviors [e.g., reading to children and appropriate discipline], and referring for treatment if appropriate," wrote the authors led by Dr. R. Neal Davis.
The new dads' experience with depression resembled that of new moms, as they were most likely to suffer symptoms within the first year of the child's life.
Experts attribute the trend to fathers' increased role in child care. Though that heightened participation has been supported by the American Academy of Pediatrics, what's difficult is getting doctors to recognize postpartum depression in men and help them do something about it.
Pediatricians need to "embrace paternal perinatal depression screening with the same vigor" they do with mothers, which could pose a challenge, wrote Dr. Craig F. Garfield of Northwestern University in Chicago and Richard Fletcher of the University of Newcastle in Australia in an editorial published with the study.
"The field of pediatrics is now faced with finding ways to support fathers in their parenting role much in the same way we support mothers," they said.
The latest research relied on interviews with 1,746 fathers of babies who were a year old. The data had been collected for a large-scale national study on families and children in the U.S. born between 1998 and 2000.
About 7 percent of the men said they'd been very depressed at some point during the previous year.
The sad fathers were more likely to be unemployed and have substance abuse problems, which probably contributed to their state of mind, according to the paper. But they were just as likely as the other fathers to have spoken to their child's pediatrician during the time period in question.
Forty-one percent of depressed dads reported spanking their babies in the prior month, compared to only 13 percent of other fathers, and 41 percent of them said they'd read stories to their children at least three days a week versus 58 percent of the happier dads.
Put another way, the depressed fathers were 62 percent less likely to say they'd read to their children at least three days a week and 3.92 times more likely to have spanked them in the past month.
Both groups of fathers were equally likely to sing songs to their kids and play with them, the findings showed.
The issue of spanking children has been hotly debated, but the researchers found it worrying that these babies were a year old or younger, at "a developmental stage when children are unlikely to understand the connection between their behavior and subsequent punishment and when spanking is more likely to cause physical injury."
Postpartum depression occurs after the birth of a child and is typically accompanied by significant feelings of sadness, emptiness, anger, irritability and listlessness. Insomnia or sleeping too much are also common symptoms.
Growing evidence shows that fathers can suffer from postpartum depression too. A new study finds that dads' post-baby blues can have a negative effect on their parenting and increase the chances that a child will be spanked.
Researchers from the University of Michigan studied more than 1,700 fathers of 1-year-olds and found that 7 percent of them reported a "major depressive episode" in the time since the birth of their babies.
In many cases, the black moods apparently were taken out on the children, making it four times more likely that they had been spanked recently and half as likely that their dads read them stories on a regular basis, according to the paper in the April issue of Pediatrics.
Pediatricians could play a bigger role in suggesting ways to combat fathers' postpartum depression, since about 77 percent of the fathers who were down said they'd talked to their baby's doctors in the past year.
"Pediatric providers should consider screening fathers for depression, discussing specific parenting behaviors [e.g., reading to children and appropriate discipline], and referring for treatment if appropriate," wrote the authors led by Dr. R. Neal Davis.
The new dads' experience with depression resembled that of new moms, as they were most likely to suffer symptoms within the first year of the child's life.
Experts attribute the trend to fathers' increased role in child care. Though that heightened participation has been supported by the American Academy of Pediatrics, what's difficult is getting doctors to recognize postpartum depression in men and help them do something about it.
Pediatricians need to "embrace paternal perinatal depression screening with the same vigor" they do with mothers, which could pose a challenge, wrote Dr. Craig F. Garfield of Northwestern University in Chicago and Richard Fletcher of the University of Newcastle in Australia in an editorial published with the study.
"The field of pediatrics is now faced with finding ways to support fathers in their parenting role much in the same way we support mothers," they said.
The latest research relied on interviews with 1,746 fathers of babies who were a year old. The data had been collected for a large-scale national study on families and children in the U.S. born between 1998 and 2000.
About 7 percent of the men said they'd been very depressed at some point during the previous year.
The sad fathers were more likely to be unemployed and have substance abuse problems, which probably contributed to their state of mind, according to the paper. But they were just as likely as the other fathers to have spoken to their child's pediatrician during the time period in question.
Forty-one percent of depressed dads reported spanking their babies in the prior month, compared to only 13 percent of other fathers, and 41 percent of them said they'd read stories to their children at least three days a week versus 58 percent of the happier dads.
Put another way, the depressed fathers were 62 percent less likely to say they'd read to their children at least three days a week and 3.92 times more likely to have spanked them in the past month.
Both groups of fathers were equally likely to sing songs to their kids and play with them, the findings showed.
The issue of spanking children has been hotly debated, but the researchers found it worrying that these babies were a year old or younger, at "a developmental stage when children are unlikely to understand the connection between their behavior and subsequent punishment and when spanking is more likely to cause physical injury."
Postpartum depression occurs after the birth of a child and is typically accompanied by significant feelings of sadness, emptiness, anger, irritability and listlessness. Insomnia or sleeping too much are also common symptoms.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Did The flintstones Wear Underwear?
My oldest boy asked me the other day, "Daddy, did the Flintstones wear underwear?" That didn't bother me. what bothered me was, I had to think about it. I had to think long and hard. I ended up saying, "Yes, of course they did." but actually they didn't. Underwear hadn't been invented yet. Unless it was underwear made of stone and by definition that is horribly uncomfortable. But I said yes because I didn't want him going to school the next day, dropping his pants in front of everyone and going, "Look, I'm not wearing any underwear - just like the Flintstones.
I told my two boys I would never lie to them, but in times like these, little white lies are okay, I have learned.
I told my two boys I would never lie to them, but in times like these, little white lies are okay, I have learned.
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