Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Older Dads Linked To Grandkid Health, Study Says
By MALCOLM RITTER
NEW YORK -- Finally, some good news for older dads. A new study hints that their children and even their grandchildren may get a health benefit because of their older age.
It's based on research into something called telomeres – tips on the ends of chromosomes.
Some previous studies have associated having longer telomeres (TEE-loh-meers) with better health and longer lives. Telomeres haven't been proven to cause those benefits in the general population, but a number of researchers think they may hold secrets for things like longevity and cancer.
As you age, telomeres shorten. However, previous studies have shown that the older a man is when he becomes a father, the longer the telomeres his children tend to have. The new research confirms that and finds it's extended to the grandchildren.
That's a cheerier result for older dads than some other studies in recent years that indicate their kids are at heightened risk for things like autism, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.
The new work didn't look at health outcomes. That's a future step, said researcher Dan T.A. Eisenberg of Northwestern University. He presents the results with colleagues in Monday's issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
Carol Greider of Johns Hopkins University, who shared a Nobel Prize in 2009 for telomere research but who didn't participate in the new study, said it's no surprise that the telomere effect would extend beyond children to grandchildren.
She cautioned that since older fathers also tend to pass more potentially harmful genetic mutations, it's "not at all clear" whether advanced paternal age gives an overall health benefit to children. In a statement, the Northwestern researchers said their study shouldn't be taken as a recommendation that men reproduce at older ages, because there's a risk of mutations.
The researchers' work involved an analysis of telomeres in blood samples from a large, multigenerational study in the Philippines.
One analysis of about 2,000 people confirmed the idea that the older your dad was when you were born, the longer your telomeres tend to be. That held true throughout the age range of the fathers, who were 15 to 43 at the time their sons or daughters were born.
Researchers then extended that another generation: The older your father's father was when your father was born, the longer your telomeres tend to be. That analysis included 234 grandchildren. A separate analysis found no significant effect from the mother's father.
The telomere contribution from a grandfather adds to the one from the father, researchers found.
Some previous studies of the impact of older fatherhood have been less encouraging. In 2010, for example, at least two big studies confirmed a link to having children with autism, with one finding that a father's age makes the biggest difference when the mother is young. In 2008, a big Swedish study strengthened evidence linking bipolar disorder to older paternal ages, although researchers said the risk was still so low that it shouldn't discourage older men from having children.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
THREE ESSENTIAL PARENTING PRINCIPLES
By Craig H. Hart
Parenting with love, limits, and latitude can have far-reaching effects on children.
YOU hear the all-too familiar squealing and aren't surprised when you find your 2-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son in a tug-of-war match over a coveted toy. It has already happened several times today, and you're beginning to feel frustrated. How do you respond?
How parents handle such situations affects more than just the level of chaos in their home. Research has shown that parenting style can also affect children's social development.
Over the past 20 years, I have collaborated in studies of parents in several parts of the United States and in Australia, China, and Russia, where we have found surprising similarity in parenting styles and their effects on children's social skills. Around the world most parental behavior can be classified into one of three general parenting styles—coercive, permissive, and authoritative.
Our research suggests that authoritative styles are most effective in the long-term development of positive social behavior in children, and it supports what modern prophets have said. Authoritative parenting involves consistently connecting with children in a loving way, setting reasonable limits, and allowing children an appropriate measure of autonomy. Coercion and permissiveness are less-effective and often detrimental parenting patterns. Coercion involves the use of physical or psychological control to achieve desired behaviors in children. Permissive parenting overindulges children and allows them relatively free reign.
It is important to note that, even in the same family, no two children are alike or respond exactly the same to parenting. Brigham Young wisely encouraged parents to "study their [children's] dispositions and their temperaments, and deal with them accordingly" (Discourses of Brigham Young, ed. John A. Widtsoe [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1998], p. 207). For most children, adapting a carefully tailored balance of three authoritative parenting principles—what I call love, limits, and latitude—can teach them correct behavior and help them develop social skills.
Love
Expressing love to children, or connecting, is the foundation of authoritative parenting. Parents lovingly connect with their children by spending playful time with them, showing affection, praising what they do well, reading to them, and assuring them of the relationship during moments of correction.
Even when circumstances cause parents to exercise their regulatory role, they should do it in a loving way. Coercion—physical or psychological—is rarely appropriate. Coercive behavior includes abuse and excessive spanking, threats of physical aggression, shouting, manipulating, withdrawing love, shaming, guilt trips, invalidating another's feelings, and being patronizing. While coercion often leads to immediate conformance by the child, research indicates it rarely results in a long-term solution and often leads to the child's being more defiant, depressed, aggressive or withdrawn, and manipulative in the home and with peers.
Modern-day prophets going back to Brigham Young have spoken out against coercive parenting and in favor of a more loving, connecting approach. President Young said, "Kind words and loving actions towards children, will subdue [children's] uneducated nature a great deal better than . . . physical punishment" (Deseret News Weekly, Dec. 7, 1864, p. 2). President Joseph F. Smith added that parents should "use no lash and no violence" and maintained that "the man that will be angry at his boy, and try to correct him while he is in his anger, is in the greatest fault. . . . You can only correct your children . . . in kindness by love unfeigned, by persuasion, and reason" (Gospel Doctrine, 13th ed. [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1963], pp. 316–17). And President Gordon B. Hinckley called on parents to be "companionable" with their children ("Some Thoughts on Temples, Retention of Converts, and Missionary Service," Ensign [Nov. 1997], p. 49).
Parents can create loving connections with their children by interacting with gentleness, kindness, long-suffering, and charity (see D&C 121:41; 45). When reproof is necessary, parents should follow it up with "an increase of love . . . lest [the child] should esteem [them] to be his enemy" (D&C 121:43).
Secular research supports this approach. Children of parents who focus on loving relationships and are less coercive tend to be better at regulating their emotions and finding peaceful resolutions to problems. They are more skilled at reading social cues and developing trusting and accepting friendships with peers.
Limits
While love is the foundation of authoritative parenting, children also need appropriate limits. What is appropriate in limit setting depends on a given child's disposition and maturity. In that way, parenting is like riding a horse. For some children parents may need to hold the reigns tighter. Other children may require less parental steering. And with some children, holding the reigns too tightly may only lead to defiance. Knowing when to let up on the reigns and when to tighten your grip takes a lot of creativity and inspiration.
Many limits can be implicit. For instance, children who grow up with parents who attend church each Sunday, always wear their seatbelts, and never curse may not need explicit rules about such matters. President David O. McKay counseled parents, "Children are more influenced by the sermons you act than by the sermons you preach" (in Conference Report, April 1955, p. 26). When parents do create explicit limits, it is important to distinguish mountains from molehills and not make the number of rules overwhelming.
It is important that, when possible, parents provide reasons for rules in advance ("People are reading in the library. We can stay as long as we are quiet.") rather than react arbitrarily to a child's misbehavior. Rules should also have logical consequences. For example, if there is a family rule against rollerblading in the house, an appropriate consequence for breaking the rule might be that the child cannot rollerblade for a specified amount of time. Suspending driving privileges for traffic violations or calmly showing up at an adolescent's teen party when curfew is violated are other examples.
Parents become permissive when they don't enforce boundaries. Calmly and consistently following through and explaining why punishments are administered are vital for helping children learn to regulate their behavior.
Logical rewards can be appropriate consequences for keeping family rules. Complimenting children ("The lawn looks great."), providing earned rewards ("If you finish your homework early, you can play your computer game until bedtime."), and offering surprise rewards ("Thanks for eating your dinner each night this week. Let's go out for ice cream.") allow children to experience the fruits of good behavior, hard work, and obedience.
Research suggests that children whose parents establish appropriate limits on their behavior and follow through are less likely to abuse drugs and be aggressive and delinquent and are more likely to adjust well to school. They are better at thinking through the consequences of actions and are more willing to abide by laws. They also tend to be more capable of moral reasoning and are more self-controlled.
Latitude
Speaking of the Saints, Joseph Smith said, "I teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves" (qtd. by John Taylor, in Millennial Star, Nov. 15, 1851, p. 339). Similarly, parents need to remember that their children will not be under their direct guidance forever. Children eventually leave home and need to "govern themselves." One way parents can prepare their children for this time is by giving them a measure of latitude, or autonomy, appropriate to their maturity.
From the time children are toddlers, parents can let them make reasonable decisions within established boundaries. Young children can help choose what to wear. Older children can have a say in how they accomplish their chores. Teens can be allowed to make media choices so long as they fall within family guidelines. Giving children some say in decision making puts them in the "driver's seat" and prepares them to make farther-reaching decisions later.
Giving children latitude means negotiating and compromising on rules when appropriate. Some rules can be adjusted under certain conditions. Suppose a family rule is that children can play only after chores are done. What if the cousins stop by for a short visit? If the parents won't budge, they may create a lot of resentment in their children. Instead, the parents and children might decide to consider that day exceptional and work out an alternate plan. Being willing to negotiate with children and compromise when flexibility is possible gives them more control over their lives and prepares them for real-world negotiation and compromise.
Research backs up the need to allow children latitude. Children who experience an appropriate amount of autonomy tend to be better at sharing power and understanding others' viewpoints. They have fewer disputes with their parents and are more respectful of adults in general. They better manage their activities. And in peer relationships they place more emphasis on persuasion and negotiation to get their way.
Parenting by Righteous Principles
I often joke that I was a much better parent before I had kids. Authoritative parenting takes time, patience, creativity, faith, and inspiration. And no parent handles every situation perfectly. When we fall short as parents, we need to apologize and try to do better.
There are no recipes for producing happy, well-adapted children, but there are principles we can follow. Using love, limits, and latitude, parents can avoid "unrighteous dominion," leading their children "by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned" (D&C 121:39; 41).
________________________________________
Craig H. Hart is chair of the Marriage, Family, and Human Development Program in the School of Family Life.
Parenting with love, limits, and latitude can have far-reaching effects on children.
YOU hear the all-too familiar squealing and aren't surprised when you find your 2-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son in a tug-of-war match over a coveted toy. It has already happened several times today, and you're beginning to feel frustrated. How do you respond?
How parents handle such situations affects more than just the level of chaos in their home. Research has shown that parenting style can also affect children's social development.
Over the past 20 years, I have collaborated in studies of parents in several parts of the United States and in Australia, China, and Russia, where we have found surprising similarity in parenting styles and their effects on children's social skills. Around the world most parental behavior can be classified into one of three general parenting styles—coercive, permissive, and authoritative.
Our research suggests that authoritative styles are most effective in the long-term development of positive social behavior in children, and it supports what modern prophets have said. Authoritative parenting involves consistently connecting with children in a loving way, setting reasonable limits, and allowing children an appropriate measure of autonomy. Coercion and permissiveness are less-effective and often detrimental parenting patterns. Coercion involves the use of physical or psychological control to achieve desired behaviors in children. Permissive parenting overindulges children and allows them relatively free reign.
It is important to note that, even in the same family, no two children are alike or respond exactly the same to parenting. Brigham Young wisely encouraged parents to "study their [children's] dispositions and their temperaments, and deal with them accordingly" (Discourses of Brigham Young, ed. John A. Widtsoe [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1998], p. 207). For most children, adapting a carefully tailored balance of three authoritative parenting principles—what I call love, limits, and latitude—can teach them correct behavior and help them develop social skills.
Love
Expressing love to children, or connecting, is the foundation of authoritative parenting. Parents lovingly connect with their children by spending playful time with them, showing affection, praising what they do well, reading to them, and assuring them of the relationship during moments of correction.
Even when circumstances cause parents to exercise their regulatory role, they should do it in a loving way. Coercion—physical or psychological—is rarely appropriate. Coercive behavior includes abuse and excessive spanking, threats of physical aggression, shouting, manipulating, withdrawing love, shaming, guilt trips, invalidating another's feelings, and being patronizing. While coercion often leads to immediate conformance by the child, research indicates it rarely results in a long-term solution and often leads to the child's being more defiant, depressed, aggressive or withdrawn, and manipulative in the home and with peers.
Modern-day prophets going back to Brigham Young have spoken out against coercive parenting and in favor of a more loving, connecting approach. President Young said, "Kind words and loving actions towards children, will subdue [children's] uneducated nature a great deal better than . . . physical punishment" (Deseret News Weekly, Dec. 7, 1864, p. 2). President Joseph F. Smith added that parents should "use no lash and no violence" and maintained that "the man that will be angry at his boy, and try to correct him while he is in his anger, is in the greatest fault. . . . You can only correct your children . . . in kindness by love unfeigned, by persuasion, and reason" (Gospel Doctrine, 13th ed. [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1963], pp. 316–17). And President Gordon B. Hinckley called on parents to be "companionable" with their children ("Some Thoughts on Temples, Retention of Converts, and Missionary Service," Ensign [Nov. 1997], p. 49).
Parents can create loving connections with their children by interacting with gentleness, kindness, long-suffering, and charity (see D&C 121:41; 45). When reproof is necessary, parents should follow it up with "an increase of love . . . lest [the child] should esteem [them] to be his enemy" (D&C 121:43).
Secular research supports this approach. Children of parents who focus on loving relationships and are less coercive tend to be better at regulating their emotions and finding peaceful resolutions to problems. They are more skilled at reading social cues and developing trusting and accepting friendships with peers.
Limits
While love is the foundation of authoritative parenting, children also need appropriate limits. What is appropriate in limit setting depends on a given child's disposition and maturity. In that way, parenting is like riding a horse. For some children parents may need to hold the reigns tighter. Other children may require less parental steering. And with some children, holding the reigns too tightly may only lead to defiance. Knowing when to let up on the reigns and when to tighten your grip takes a lot of creativity and inspiration.
Many limits can be implicit. For instance, children who grow up with parents who attend church each Sunday, always wear their seatbelts, and never curse may not need explicit rules about such matters. President David O. McKay counseled parents, "Children are more influenced by the sermons you act than by the sermons you preach" (in Conference Report, April 1955, p. 26). When parents do create explicit limits, it is important to distinguish mountains from molehills and not make the number of rules overwhelming.
It is important that, when possible, parents provide reasons for rules in advance ("People are reading in the library. We can stay as long as we are quiet.") rather than react arbitrarily to a child's misbehavior. Rules should also have logical consequences. For example, if there is a family rule against rollerblading in the house, an appropriate consequence for breaking the rule might be that the child cannot rollerblade for a specified amount of time. Suspending driving privileges for traffic violations or calmly showing up at an adolescent's teen party when curfew is violated are other examples.
Parents become permissive when they don't enforce boundaries. Calmly and consistently following through and explaining why punishments are administered are vital for helping children learn to regulate their behavior.
Logical rewards can be appropriate consequences for keeping family rules. Complimenting children ("The lawn looks great."), providing earned rewards ("If you finish your homework early, you can play your computer game until bedtime."), and offering surprise rewards ("Thanks for eating your dinner each night this week. Let's go out for ice cream.") allow children to experience the fruits of good behavior, hard work, and obedience.
Research suggests that children whose parents establish appropriate limits on their behavior and follow through are less likely to abuse drugs and be aggressive and delinquent and are more likely to adjust well to school. They are better at thinking through the consequences of actions and are more willing to abide by laws. They also tend to be more capable of moral reasoning and are more self-controlled.
Latitude
Speaking of the Saints, Joseph Smith said, "I teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves" (qtd. by John Taylor, in Millennial Star, Nov. 15, 1851, p. 339). Similarly, parents need to remember that their children will not be under their direct guidance forever. Children eventually leave home and need to "govern themselves." One way parents can prepare their children for this time is by giving them a measure of latitude, or autonomy, appropriate to their maturity.
From the time children are toddlers, parents can let them make reasonable decisions within established boundaries. Young children can help choose what to wear. Older children can have a say in how they accomplish their chores. Teens can be allowed to make media choices so long as they fall within family guidelines. Giving children some say in decision making puts them in the "driver's seat" and prepares them to make farther-reaching decisions later.
Giving children latitude means negotiating and compromising on rules when appropriate. Some rules can be adjusted under certain conditions. Suppose a family rule is that children can play only after chores are done. What if the cousins stop by for a short visit? If the parents won't budge, they may create a lot of resentment in their children. Instead, the parents and children might decide to consider that day exceptional and work out an alternate plan. Being willing to negotiate with children and compromise when flexibility is possible gives them more control over their lives and prepares them for real-world negotiation and compromise.
Research backs up the need to allow children latitude. Children who experience an appropriate amount of autonomy tend to be better at sharing power and understanding others' viewpoints. They have fewer disputes with their parents and are more respectful of adults in general. They better manage their activities. And in peer relationships they place more emphasis on persuasion and negotiation to get their way.
Parenting by Righteous Principles
I often joke that I was a much better parent before I had kids. Authoritative parenting takes time, patience, creativity, faith, and inspiration. And no parent handles every situation perfectly. When we fall short as parents, we need to apologize and try to do better.
There are no recipes for producing happy, well-adapted children, but there are principles we can follow. Using love, limits, and latitude, parents can avoid "unrighteous dominion," leading their children "by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned" (D&C 121:39; 41).
________________________________________
Craig H. Hart is chair of the Marriage, Family, and Human Development Program in the School of Family Life.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Daddy Knows Best
If you’re like a lot of couples out there, you and your partner have very different parenting styles. But that doesn’t mean what he’s doing is wrong. Men may be from Mars, but when it comes to bringing up babies (and toddlers, preschoolers, and teens), they can be just as effective as women. According to a report from the American Academy of Pediatrics, dads can be a positive influence on their children’s development. And research shows that when kids bond with their dads they feel more secure and curious — and less likely to lose it when they get frustrated. So let your partner discover his own parenting style.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Japanese TV
I told my oldest boy, "The TV you're watching was made in Japan." He replied withour missing a beat: "Well, it speaks English!"
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
The Little Con Artist
My youngest boy, the six-year old paid someone else to do his homework for him. Where did he get that from. They learn really quick these days don't they?
Monday, March 14, 2011
Dads' Postpartum Depression Ups Odds of Spankings
By Catherine Donaldson-Evans
Growing evidence shows that fathers can suffer from postpartum depression too. A new study finds that dads' post-baby blues can have a negative effect on their parenting and increase the chances that a child will be spanked.
Researchers from the University of Michigan studied more than 1,700 fathers of 1-year-olds and found that 7 percent of them reported a "major depressive episode" in the time since the birth of their babies.
In many cases, the black moods apparently were taken out on the children, making it four times more likely that they had been spanked recently and half as likely that their dads read them stories on a regular basis, according to the paper in the April issue of Pediatrics.
Pediatricians could play a bigger role in suggesting ways to combat fathers' postpartum depression, since about 77 percent of the fathers who were down said they'd talked to their baby's doctors in the past year.
"Pediatric providers should consider screening fathers for depression, discussing specific parenting behaviors [e.g., reading to children and appropriate discipline], and referring for treatment if appropriate," wrote the authors led by Dr. R. Neal Davis.
The new dads' experience with depression resembled that of new moms, as they were most likely to suffer symptoms within the first year of the child's life.
Experts attribute the trend to fathers' increased role in child care. Though that heightened participation has been supported by the American Academy of Pediatrics, what's difficult is getting doctors to recognize postpartum depression in men and help them do something about it.
Pediatricians need to "embrace paternal perinatal depression screening with the same vigor" they do with mothers, which could pose a challenge, wrote Dr. Craig F. Garfield of Northwestern University in Chicago and Richard Fletcher of the University of Newcastle in Australia in an editorial published with the study.
"The field of pediatrics is now faced with finding ways to support fathers in their parenting role much in the same way we support mothers," they said.
The latest research relied on interviews with 1,746 fathers of babies who were a year old. The data had been collected for a large-scale national study on families and children in the U.S. born between 1998 and 2000.
About 7 percent of the men said they'd been very depressed at some point during the previous year.
The sad fathers were more likely to be unemployed and have substance abuse problems, which probably contributed to their state of mind, according to the paper. But they were just as likely as the other fathers to have spoken to their child's pediatrician during the time period in question.
Forty-one percent of depressed dads reported spanking their babies in the prior month, compared to only 13 percent of other fathers, and 41 percent of them said they'd read stories to their children at least three days a week versus 58 percent of the happier dads.
Put another way, the depressed fathers were 62 percent less likely to say they'd read to their children at least three days a week and 3.92 times more likely to have spanked them in the past month.
Both groups of fathers were equally likely to sing songs to their kids and play with them, the findings showed.
The issue of spanking children has been hotly debated, but the researchers found it worrying that these babies were a year old or younger, at "a developmental stage when children are unlikely to understand the connection between their behavior and subsequent punishment and when spanking is more likely to cause physical injury."
Postpartum depression occurs after the birth of a child and is typically accompanied by significant feelings of sadness, emptiness, anger, irritability and listlessness. Insomnia or sleeping too much are also common symptoms.
Growing evidence shows that fathers can suffer from postpartum depression too. A new study finds that dads' post-baby blues can have a negative effect on their parenting and increase the chances that a child will be spanked.
Researchers from the University of Michigan studied more than 1,700 fathers of 1-year-olds and found that 7 percent of them reported a "major depressive episode" in the time since the birth of their babies.
In many cases, the black moods apparently were taken out on the children, making it four times more likely that they had been spanked recently and half as likely that their dads read them stories on a regular basis, according to the paper in the April issue of Pediatrics.
Pediatricians could play a bigger role in suggesting ways to combat fathers' postpartum depression, since about 77 percent of the fathers who were down said they'd talked to their baby's doctors in the past year.
"Pediatric providers should consider screening fathers for depression, discussing specific parenting behaviors [e.g., reading to children and appropriate discipline], and referring for treatment if appropriate," wrote the authors led by Dr. R. Neal Davis.
The new dads' experience with depression resembled that of new moms, as they were most likely to suffer symptoms within the first year of the child's life.
Experts attribute the trend to fathers' increased role in child care. Though that heightened participation has been supported by the American Academy of Pediatrics, what's difficult is getting doctors to recognize postpartum depression in men and help them do something about it.
Pediatricians need to "embrace paternal perinatal depression screening with the same vigor" they do with mothers, which could pose a challenge, wrote Dr. Craig F. Garfield of Northwestern University in Chicago and Richard Fletcher of the University of Newcastle in Australia in an editorial published with the study.
"The field of pediatrics is now faced with finding ways to support fathers in their parenting role much in the same way we support mothers," they said.
The latest research relied on interviews with 1,746 fathers of babies who were a year old. The data had been collected for a large-scale national study on families and children in the U.S. born between 1998 and 2000.
About 7 percent of the men said they'd been very depressed at some point during the previous year.
The sad fathers were more likely to be unemployed and have substance abuse problems, which probably contributed to their state of mind, according to the paper. But they were just as likely as the other fathers to have spoken to their child's pediatrician during the time period in question.
Forty-one percent of depressed dads reported spanking their babies in the prior month, compared to only 13 percent of other fathers, and 41 percent of them said they'd read stories to their children at least three days a week versus 58 percent of the happier dads.
Put another way, the depressed fathers were 62 percent less likely to say they'd read to their children at least three days a week and 3.92 times more likely to have spanked them in the past month.
Both groups of fathers were equally likely to sing songs to their kids and play with them, the findings showed.
The issue of spanking children has been hotly debated, but the researchers found it worrying that these babies were a year old or younger, at "a developmental stage when children are unlikely to understand the connection between their behavior and subsequent punishment and when spanking is more likely to cause physical injury."
Postpartum depression occurs after the birth of a child and is typically accompanied by significant feelings of sadness, emptiness, anger, irritability and listlessness. Insomnia or sleeping too much are also common symptoms.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Did The flintstones Wear Underwear?
My oldest boy asked me the other day, "Daddy, did the Flintstones wear underwear?" That didn't bother me. what bothered me was, I had to think about it. I had to think long and hard. I ended up saying, "Yes, of course they did." but actually they didn't. Underwear hadn't been invented yet. Unless it was underwear made of stone and by definition that is horribly uncomfortable. But I said yes because I didn't want him going to school the next day, dropping his pants in front of everyone and going, "Look, I'm not wearing any underwear - just like the Flintstones.
I told my two boys I would never lie to them, but in times like these, little white lies are okay, I have learned.
I told my two boys I would never lie to them, but in times like these, little white lies are okay, I have learned.
Monday, January 4, 2010
The Meaning of 'Man'
I ran into a guy I go to college with the other day. We've been on break since before Christmas. I'm starting my second year back in school next week. And I'm 60-years old. So I run into this guy, I roll down my window and say, "Hey man. How are you doing?" He goes, "Hey, man, I'm doing alright."
"Did you have a good Christmas, man?"
"Yeah, man, it was cool."
"Hey, man, are you going to be back in school next semester?"
"Oh, yeah, man. I'll be there."
And this went on for about five minutes. When I left, my four-year old who was in the back seat asked, "Daddy, why did you call each other man?"
So I had to explain the meaning of man to my son. It really isn't easy. I couldn't tell him it's just a greeting like, "Hey, dude!" Then he will want to know what dude means. Next thing you know I'll be in over my head. And I hate it when that happens.
"Did you have a good Christmas, man?"
"Yeah, man, it was cool."
"Hey, man, are you going to be back in school next semester?"
"Oh, yeah, man. I'll be there."
And this went on for about five minutes. When I left, my four-year old who was in the back seat asked, "Daddy, why did you call each other man?"
So I had to explain the meaning of man to my son. It really isn't easy. I couldn't tell him it's just a greeting like, "Hey, dude!" Then he will want to know what dude means. Next thing you know I'll be in over my head. And I hate it when that happens.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
The Right To The Remote
As you know it's a man's right to own control of the remote. Women have makeup, men have the remote. But recently I lost the right to the remote in my house to my oldest son who is currently 7 and I may let him make it to 8.
As soon as he comes in he grabs the remote from me and keeps it by his side. Whatever I'm watching doesn't matter. When he walks in it's Sponge Bob time. We watch Sponge Bob until it's time to go to bed. i am sick of Sponge Bob Squarepants.
It seems like only yesterday he was watching stuff that I liked, the Pink Panther, Top Cat, Huckleberry Hound...how did he end up with Sponge Bob?
If he ever starts watching Barnet, I'm breaking the remote. A man can only go so far with his son.
As soon as he comes in he grabs the remote from me and keeps it by his side. Whatever I'm watching doesn't matter. When he walks in it's Sponge Bob time. We watch Sponge Bob until it's time to go to bed. i am sick of Sponge Bob Squarepants.
It seems like only yesterday he was watching stuff that I liked, the Pink Panther, Top Cat, Huckleberry Hound...how did he end up with Sponge Bob?
If he ever starts watching Barnet, I'm breaking the remote. A man can only go so far with his son.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
The First Joke
My oldest boy who is now seven just learned his first joke. Are you ready? Here it goes..."I going to spend my money on a new butt because my old one has a crack in it."
Truly a proud day for Daddy. I can't wait till he tells it to our preacher which I'm sure he will do. Now if he can just do about 30 more like that he will have an act and I can take him on the road as my opening comic. The Carver Boys Tour. Has a ring to it, doesn't it?
Remember what your childs first joke was? Tell me and I will post it.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
My Youngest Boy Is Now Four
My youngest boy turned four years old on January 24th. They grow up so fast. He still hugs me every night and tells me he loves me and now when my oldest boy hits him he hits back. They love each other, they just have a strange way of showing it.
We gave him a batman cake. He ate all the icing and left the cake. I used to do that too. We're taking my two boys to their first concert next week, the Buddy Holly Tribute Show. That will be a blast.
Rock on boys, just like your daddy. You're never too old to Rock-N-Roll
We gave him a batman cake. He ate all the icing and left the cake. I used to do that too. We're taking my two boys to their first concert next week, the Buddy Holly Tribute Show. That will be a blast.
Rock on boys, just like your daddy. You're never too old to Rock-N-Roll
Thursday, December 4, 2008
My Son's First Book
My oldest boy just wrote his first book; a proud day for daddy. I didn't even know he had it in him.
Maybe he takes after me after all. I've written two books; Daddyhood and Stress Relief 101 and I am proud of both of them.
My son's book is a seven page book about his little puppy called Pepper. He wrote it all by himself. Wow, that kid is creative. Others play football or soccer. My kids writes. I like that.
And I hope he continues to write. Who knows, he may become the next Mark Twain or Edgar Allan Poe or even Stephen King.
But right now, he's just my son and I am a proud daddy.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Bring back old-fashioned play
Psychologists urged to help parents reverse the commercialization of childhood.
By Christopher Munsey
By Christopher Munsey
Years ago, if you gave a kid a lump of Play-Doh, she might roll it around in her hands and shape it into a ball, a lion or some other figment of her imagination.
These days, kids are more likely to look at that lump, scratch their heads and say, "What does it do?" said Diane Levin, PhD, at a session on the effects of electronic media on childhood.
Levin said examples of what she terms "problem-solving deficit disorder" can be seen in children who are so used to staring at a screen while playing electronic games that they don't know how to play creatively. Making things worse are the messages that children get from these overly structured and directed activities, she said.
"What we have is a huge clash of cultures between what parents, families and society want to teach children about what it means to be a person with good values and the messages given by popular culture," said Levin, co-author of "So Sexy, So Soon" (Ballantine Books, 2008).
The intense marketing toward children started in the early 1980s when the government relaxed regulations on the advertising of toys and products to children. Now, toys are even being used to market other toys, with cell phones and electronic games, Levin said.
The convergence of sophisticated technology and unfettered commercialism is a "disaster" for American children, added Susan Linn, EdD, author of "The Case for Make Believe'' (New Press, 2008). Linn, who also spoke at the session, co-founded the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood with Levin and serves as its director. Before deregulation, she said, corporations spent about $100 million a year advertising products to kids. That spending has now mushroomed to $17 billion annually. Such practices, she said, are linked to childhood obesity, eating disorders, youth violence and early sexualization.
Not knowing how to play creatively and playing electronic games in isolation also means that children are losing the traditional lessons of play, which help them make sense of the world and learn how to interact with peers, Linn said.
Psychologists can help parents push back against the trends, Linn says. One example of success came last year, when in response to a letter-writing campaign, Hasbro shelved a plan to market dolls to young girls based on the Pussycat Dolls — a pop group known for their scanty dress.
"They will not be coming to a toy store near you," she said.
"They will not be coming to a toy store near you," she said.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
When You Thought I Wasn't Looking
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.'
Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, friend) influences the life of a child. How will you touch the life of someone today? Just by sending this to someone else, you will probably make them at least think about their influence on others.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.'
Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, friend) influences the life of a child. How will you touch the life of someone today? Just by sending this to someone else, you will probably make them at least think about their influence on others.
Friday, August 8, 2008
9 Ways To Make Your Child Smarter
Make music: Listening to your child play the trombone isn't always a pleasurable experience, but music lessons can be a fun way to engage in right-brain learning. According to a study by University of Toronto researchers, organized music lessons appear to benefit children's IQ and academic performance—and the more years the student takes lessons, the greater the effect. The study found that taking music lessons in childhood was a clear predictor of better grades in high school and a higher IQ in adulthood. So help your children release their inner Mozart, sign them up for the school band or private lessons.
Breast feed: Mother's milk is elemental brain food. Research consistently has shown that breast-feeding has multiple benefits for growing infants. It prevents dangerous infections and provides essential nourishment. Danish researchers have discovered that breast-feeding can make babies both healthier and smarter. The study found that infants who breast-fed for nine months grew up to be significantly more intelligent than those who breast-fed for one month or less. The bottom line: If breast-feeding works for you make an early investment in your child's health. Breast-feeding your infant can deliver long-term dividends.
Foster fitness: Studies by University of Illinois researchers have shown a strong relationship between fitness scores and academic achievement among primary school children. Participation in organized sports fosters confidence, teamwork and leadership, according to research by the Oppenheimer Funds. This study also found that 81 percent of women business executives played team sports as girls. So instead of retiring to the TV after dinner, consider throwing a ball around or going for a walk. Even better: Encourage your child to get involved in an organized physical activity or school sport.
Surprise! Play video games: Video games get a bad rap. Yes, many are violent, solitary and mindless, but stick to the ones that develop children's strategic thinking and planning skills and the ones that promote teamwork or creativity. Educational toy companies like Leapfrog are now creating motor- skill and memory enhancing games for small children—even toddlers. A recent study conducted at the University of Rochester found that participants who played video games recognized and learned visual cues much faster than their non-video-game-playing counterparts. British teachers have begun using some video games in the classroom.
Junk the junk food: Cutting out sugar, trans fats and other junk food from your child's diet and replacing them with high-nutrient alternatives can do wonders for early childhood mental and motor development—especially in the first two years of life. For example, kids need iron for healthy brain tissue development, as nerve impulses move more slowly when children are iron-deficient. And studies show that poorly nourished children have trouble fighting infections, which causes them to miss school and fall behind their peers. Pay attention to what your kids are eating, and the grades may follow.
Nurture curiosity: Experts say parents who show curiosity and encourage their children to explore new ideas teach them a valuable lesson: Seeking knowledge is important. Support your kids’ hobbies and interests by asking them questions, teaching them new skills and taking them on educational outings to develop intellectual curiosity.
Read!: This tried-and-true method sometimes gets overlooked in the rush to adopt the latest IQ-boosting technology, but reading is a sure-fire, low-tech way to improve learning and cognitive developing in children of all ages. Read to your children from an early age, sign your child up for a library card and keep the house stocked with books.
Breakfast breeds champions: A strong body of research dating back to the 1970s shows that eating breakfast improves memory, concentration and learning. And children who don't eat breakfast tend to tire easier, be more irritable and react less quickly than those who begin the day with a solid meal. With today's hectic schedules, a full sit-down breakfast isn't always possible. But even an energy bar and a glass of milk can go a long way towards helping your kids stay focused and engaged during school hours.
Play mind games: Chess, crosswords, cryptograms, riddles—they all train the brain to perform mental gymnastics. Games like Sudoku can be fun while promoting strategic thinking, problem-solving and complex decision-making. Keep brainteasers around the house and challenge your children to help you solve the trickier problems.
Breast feed: Mother's milk is elemental brain food. Research consistently has shown that breast-feeding has multiple benefits for growing infants. It prevents dangerous infections and provides essential nourishment. Danish researchers have discovered that breast-feeding can make babies both healthier and smarter. The study found that infants who breast-fed for nine months grew up to be significantly more intelligent than those who breast-fed for one month or less. The bottom line: If breast-feeding works for you make an early investment in your child's health. Breast-feeding your infant can deliver long-term dividends.
Foster fitness: Studies by University of Illinois researchers have shown a strong relationship between fitness scores and academic achievement among primary school children. Participation in organized sports fosters confidence, teamwork and leadership, according to research by the Oppenheimer Funds. This study also found that 81 percent of women business executives played team sports as girls. So instead of retiring to the TV after dinner, consider throwing a ball around or going for a walk. Even better: Encourage your child to get involved in an organized physical activity or school sport.
Surprise! Play video games: Video games get a bad rap. Yes, many are violent, solitary and mindless, but stick to the ones that develop children's strategic thinking and planning skills and the ones that promote teamwork or creativity. Educational toy companies like Leapfrog are now creating motor- skill and memory enhancing games for small children—even toddlers. A recent study conducted at the University of Rochester found that participants who played video games recognized and learned visual cues much faster than their non-video-game-playing counterparts. British teachers have begun using some video games in the classroom.
Junk the junk food: Cutting out sugar, trans fats and other junk food from your child's diet and replacing them with high-nutrient alternatives can do wonders for early childhood mental and motor development—especially in the first two years of life. For example, kids need iron for healthy brain tissue development, as nerve impulses move more slowly when children are iron-deficient. And studies show that poorly nourished children have trouble fighting infections, which causes them to miss school and fall behind their peers. Pay attention to what your kids are eating, and the grades may follow.
Nurture curiosity: Experts say parents who show curiosity and encourage their children to explore new ideas teach them a valuable lesson: Seeking knowledge is important. Support your kids’ hobbies and interests by asking them questions, teaching them new skills and taking them on educational outings to develop intellectual curiosity.
Read!: This tried-and-true method sometimes gets overlooked in the rush to adopt the latest IQ-boosting technology, but reading is a sure-fire, low-tech way to improve learning and cognitive developing in children of all ages. Read to your children from an early age, sign your child up for a library card and keep the house stocked with books.
Breakfast breeds champions: A strong body of research dating back to the 1970s shows that eating breakfast improves memory, concentration and learning. And children who don't eat breakfast tend to tire easier, be more irritable and react less quickly than those who begin the day with a solid meal. With today's hectic schedules, a full sit-down breakfast isn't always possible. But even an energy bar and a glass of milk can go a long way towards helping your kids stay focused and engaged during school hours.
Play mind games: Chess, crosswords, cryptograms, riddles—they all train the brain to perform mental gymnastics. Games like Sudoku can be fun while promoting strategic thinking, problem-solving and complex decision-making. Keep brainteasers around the house and challenge your children to help you solve the trickier problems.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
"I Hate My Newborn Baby!"
I found the following ob MSN Online:
"I Hate My Newborn Baby!"
A new dad confesses: They're not always bundles of joy
Add this page to favoritesBy Steve Belanger, Men’s Health
Week 1
The first few days are a blur of exhilaration and exhaustion. I sit holding that little ball of flesh--all 6 pounds of him--and I can't believe how lucky I am.
On the third day, we take Matthew home. My wife and I are looking forward to spending the next 3 months together, raising our boy. After that, she'll go back to work and I'll stay home.
The parenting books say the average newborn sleeps about 19 hours a day. That's how long our boy cries. He never naps, and at night he sleeps for just 20 minutes at a time, and only when he's being held. This makes it tough to follow the first rule of having a newborn: Sleep when the baby sleeps.
Week 2
Clearly something is wrong. We take Matthew to the doctor. "It's just a little intestinal distress," he tells us. "It's fairly common and nothing to worry about."
Meanwhile, my wife, Kelly, and I start sleeping in shifts. She goes to bed at 7 p.m. while I sit in the basement with Matthew for, inevitably, 5 hours of crying. Then at midnight, we switch for 5 hours.
Before, the basement had been my sanctuary. Comfy couches, big-screen TV, every man's dream. Now it's my prison. I lose my temper 50 times a night. Sitting there alone in the dark, exhausted, I'm overwhelmed. "Why are you doing this!" I scream at him. "What do you want me to do?"
Week 3
I hate my newborn baby. There, I said it. Nobody ever says it. But if what Matthew is going through is fairly common, then I'm sure more than a few men have thought it. It's always "Coochie-coochie-coo!" and "Oh, he's a handful, but he's worth it." Yeah, right. Am I missing something here?
I'd waited 42 years to meet this kid. Now I want to return him. Or ask for an exchange. "Do you have any quiet babies that I could take instead? No? Would you mind looking in the back?"
I feel like the worst dad ever.
Week 4
Two more doctor visits and no improvement. We switch to formula, replace Matthew's bed linens, and start using a humidifier in his room. We're desperate for something, anything, to click. Friends say things like, "Just wait. One of these days he'll start sleeping, and your life will change." Every time he dozes for more than 15 minutes we think we've turned a corner. But then he wakes up crying, as if someone has just poured a bucket of ice water on him.
Week 5
The doctor thinks maybe Matthew has a milk allergy, so he wants us to switch to a soy-based formula. We start him on a Saturday.
The next day, my mother-in-law comes over to give us some relief. Kelly and I each go our separate ways. She takes care of some stuff around the house, and I lock myself in front of a day's worth of NFL games. By dinnertime, my mother-in-law is deeply concerned. "He's getting worse," she says.
I call the doctor, who advises us to allow the new formula a few more hours to work through his system. At 10 p.m., Matthew is as miserable as we've ever seen him. We decide to take him to the ER.
Then, as we're getting ready, something crazy happens. He falls asleep in my wife's arms. We don't get our hopes up--we've fallen for this trick before. Fifteen minutes later, we take a chance and lay him down. Still out cold. Then we dare to crawl into our own bed.
That night, he sleeps 6 hours straight. It's the breakthrough we've been hoping for.
Today
As I write this, Matthew is sitting in his bouncy seat looking at me with a smirk on his face. He's 6 months old, and he's already my best friend. Every night he listens to my troubles, cooing his understanding or praising me with an encouraging fart. But for his first few weeks on this planet, we did not get along. Not at all.
Looking back, I feel incredible guilt--not just for having had so much hatred and anger, but for how selfish I'd been. Many new parents are facing real problems. Their kids are sick. They're having trouble affording basic necessities. They're doing it alone. My wife and I were together 24-7 and parenting knocked us on our asses.
To those struggling parents, I say best of luck.
To my wife, who's now back at work, I say thank you for giving me such a wonderful son.
And to my boy, well, I'm sorry about the things I said to you during your first few weeks. I promise to make it up to you for the rest of your life. I love you, buddy.
Hang in there. It will get better. They’re your future. Treat them with respect. Give them love.
"I Hate My Newborn Baby!"
A new dad confesses: They're not always bundles of joy
Add this page to favoritesBy Steve Belanger, Men’s Health
Week 1
The first few days are a blur of exhilaration and exhaustion. I sit holding that little ball of flesh--all 6 pounds of him--and I can't believe how lucky I am.
On the third day, we take Matthew home. My wife and I are looking forward to spending the next 3 months together, raising our boy. After that, she'll go back to work and I'll stay home.
The parenting books say the average newborn sleeps about 19 hours a day. That's how long our boy cries. He never naps, and at night he sleeps for just 20 minutes at a time, and only when he's being held. This makes it tough to follow the first rule of having a newborn: Sleep when the baby sleeps.
Week 2
Clearly something is wrong. We take Matthew to the doctor. "It's just a little intestinal distress," he tells us. "It's fairly common and nothing to worry about."
Meanwhile, my wife, Kelly, and I start sleeping in shifts. She goes to bed at 7 p.m. while I sit in the basement with Matthew for, inevitably, 5 hours of crying. Then at midnight, we switch for 5 hours.
Before, the basement had been my sanctuary. Comfy couches, big-screen TV, every man's dream. Now it's my prison. I lose my temper 50 times a night. Sitting there alone in the dark, exhausted, I'm overwhelmed. "Why are you doing this!" I scream at him. "What do you want me to do?"
Week 3
I hate my newborn baby. There, I said it. Nobody ever says it. But if what Matthew is going through is fairly common, then I'm sure more than a few men have thought it. It's always "Coochie-coochie-coo!" and "Oh, he's a handful, but he's worth it." Yeah, right. Am I missing something here?
I'd waited 42 years to meet this kid. Now I want to return him. Or ask for an exchange. "Do you have any quiet babies that I could take instead? No? Would you mind looking in the back?"
I feel like the worst dad ever.
Week 4
Two more doctor visits and no improvement. We switch to formula, replace Matthew's bed linens, and start using a humidifier in his room. We're desperate for something, anything, to click. Friends say things like, "Just wait. One of these days he'll start sleeping, and your life will change." Every time he dozes for more than 15 minutes we think we've turned a corner. But then he wakes up crying, as if someone has just poured a bucket of ice water on him.
Week 5
The doctor thinks maybe Matthew has a milk allergy, so he wants us to switch to a soy-based formula. We start him on a Saturday.
The next day, my mother-in-law comes over to give us some relief. Kelly and I each go our separate ways. She takes care of some stuff around the house, and I lock myself in front of a day's worth of NFL games. By dinnertime, my mother-in-law is deeply concerned. "He's getting worse," she says.
I call the doctor, who advises us to allow the new formula a few more hours to work through his system. At 10 p.m., Matthew is as miserable as we've ever seen him. We decide to take him to the ER.
Then, as we're getting ready, something crazy happens. He falls asleep in my wife's arms. We don't get our hopes up--we've fallen for this trick before. Fifteen minutes later, we take a chance and lay him down. Still out cold. Then we dare to crawl into our own bed.
That night, he sleeps 6 hours straight. It's the breakthrough we've been hoping for.
Today
As I write this, Matthew is sitting in his bouncy seat looking at me with a smirk on his face. He's 6 months old, and he's already my best friend. Every night he listens to my troubles, cooing his understanding or praising me with an encouraging fart. But for his first few weeks on this planet, we did not get along. Not at all.
Looking back, I feel incredible guilt--not just for having had so much hatred and anger, but for how selfish I'd been. Many new parents are facing real problems. Their kids are sick. They're having trouble affording basic necessities. They're doing it alone. My wife and I were together 24-7 and parenting knocked us on our asses.
To those struggling parents, I say best of luck.
To my wife, who's now back at work, I say thank you for giving me such a wonderful son.
And to my boy, well, I'm sorry about the things I said to you during your first few weeks. I promise to make it up to you for the rest of your life. I love you, buddy.
Hang in there. It will get better. They’re your future. Treat them with respect. Give them love.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Why Get Stressed Out?
Why do parents get stressed out over their children? Don't you realize that they won't be young forever? They're going to be grown up and they're going to move away and you will look back over the years that your children were home and you will see all the times you wasted by being stressed out over nothing. yelling at your children, sending them to their room, spanking them.
Times you could have spent laughing with your children. Times your could have spent having fun with your children. Times you could have spent being the parent that your children think you are.
Children are precious and they don't have a say in the matter. They don't mean to stress you out. They're just being children. They're doing what they're supposed to do - play and have fun. The problem isn't with the children, it's with your attitude.
You need to change your attitude. See the humor in your children, not the stress. Change the way you look at things and your life and your children's lives will change for the better. Children learn by watching you. If they see a stressed out parent who snaps over nothing, they're going to grow up an be the same way.
I don't know about you, but I don't want my children to grow up being stressed out. I want them to grow up and enjoy life. I want them to enjoy their children. I want them to be just like me. When you think about that, you'll start to see things differently and you will start to make better choices. Remember, be the parent that your children think you are.
BC is a professional speaker, Christian comedian and author. His current book is Daddyhood, a humorous and thought provoking book about life with his two boys. BC became a dad for the first time at 52 and the second time at 55. His life has been wonderful ever since.
Friday, June 27, 2008
The Karate Kid
My oldest son, Austin is in Karate Camp this summer. He's actually getting pretty good at it. He's learning a lot. For example, just yesterday he learned that if you karate kick a metal chair it will hurt your foot. He has also learned that if he kicks his brother, his brother kicks back. Austin has quite a ways to go before he becomes a black belt, but at least right now he's hanging in there. And next month the two of us are doing a magic show for the kids at Karate Camp. That will be fun.
he looks pretty cool in his karate outfit. In fact he hasn't taken it off in four days. He sleeps in it. It was white. It's the color of dirt now.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Town Meeting
I went to my first town meeting tonight since the topic of discussion was the school budget. It seems that the commissioners want to cut the budget by about half and they want to raise taxes.
Since about half of my hometown is out of work because one industry (the biggest employer in town) went bankrupt trying to keep up with foreign prices and the other industry, a textile mill moved overseas (thank you government), and gas is now $4.00 a gallon, we don't need a tax increase.
And why are they cutting the school budget. Every one of the commissioners' big thing when they were running for office was, "I'm going to push for better education. I going to fight for better funding for teachers and schools." Now I clearly see that was just a bunch of crap to get them elected. And two of the commissioners I voted for just for that reason.
Our children are our greatest resource and they have no say in this. We can either keep spending more and more and more on law enforcement or spend more on education so our children won't grow up and become criminals.
I've already lost faith in our national government thanks to Bush and Cheney and I've lost faith in our state government here in NC thanks to Jim Black and now I'm losing faith in our local government. Every one of the commissioners tonight sat up there like they could care less what we thought. Their minds are made up. They're in office and they don't care what we think. And I think that none of them will be elected next term.
I have two children in school and I want them to get the best education possible. The U.S. isn't number one in education, Finland is. The U.S. isn't even in the top ten. I think that's reason enough to get the government out of our schools.
Where does it stop. what do we as citizens have to do to claim our government back?
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Red Smiley
the school where my son goes has different color smiley faces to determine their behavior. A Blue smiley means great behavior, a green smiley is good behavior, a yellow smiley is okay and a red one is bad behavior. Fortunately, my son gets mostly blue and green smileys but every once in a while he gets a red one. Like last week. He got a red smiley for jumping in mud puddles. It had rained heavily the night before and there were puddles of water all over the play ground, and Austin had to jump in every one of them. That's what little boys do, it's their right to jump in mud puddles. It's part of growing up. He told the teacher that mud puddles were from where the rain peed. Rain peeing, I've never heard that one before. If my son is that creative, they ought to give him a blue light and let it be.
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